


Tennessee Line to LA Lights

by JamieMac26



Category: Criminal Minds, Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: Divorce, Drinking, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Miscarriage, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-02 05:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6552622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieMac26/pseuds/JamieMac26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephanie Wright is headed to the bright lights of LA to start a new life. But will she be able to run away from her past completely and what happens when a childhood friend comes back into her life, one she wasn't expecting or prepared for.</p><p>Disclaimer: All songs/lyrics within this story are the property of Daughtry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The lights of the city in the rearview mirror grew smaller and smaller, until they blinked out completely. She looked back at the dark road that loomed before her. She had been on the road for days, passing one city after another, endless black roads stretched out in between.  Stephanie Wright was leaving her old life behind, heading off on adventures unknown, but adventures that would be of her making.  She glanced again into the rearview mirror, her past fading from her view as quickly as the rushing landscape. 

She’d been 18 years old; well almost 18 years old when she’d left home, following another’s dreams for a bright future. Dustin Wright had swept her off her feet and away from the troubles that plagued her at home.  Her dad had passed away shortly after her 16th birthday and her mother slowly spiraled downward into the darkness. The pain of losing her dad, mixed with the constant arguments and outright fights that she’d get into with her mother had driven her into Dustin arms. Her mother hated him, which only made Stephanie cling to him even harder.  When she had ended up pregnant, that had been the final straw and the fight that ensued, ended with Stephanie and Dustin throwing their belongings into his beat up old pickup and hitting the road for Nashville. 

They had found a run down, tiny apartment, and Stephanie had taken a job at the small convenience store on the corner. Dustin spent every day playing on street corners, in coffee shops, at open mic nights and peddled his make-shift demo to every label he could find, trying to sneak his way into the music world.  Day after day, and week after week he tried, the frustration with each rejection growing, and Stephanie started to sporadically find empty beer bottles strewn around the apartment, soon on a daily basis. 

The stress of living paycheck to paycheck on her miniscule income became too much and she awoke with a start in the dead of the night. She had known that something was wrong immediately and after not being able to rouse Dustin, she dragged herself to the emergency room. He had found her the next afternoon, shivering in the bathtub, her eyes red and raw from crying.  He’d picked her up, dried her off and spent the rest of the day holding her. He promised that they’d try again but that the next time, they’d be a real family.  The next day, they had gone to the courthouse and gotten married. 

There were five more.  Five more times she'd been pregnant and each time ended as the one before. Stephanie hurt from it, the emotion as well as the physical exhaustion. However, the effect it had on her husband was much worse.  His drinking got out of hand and she knew that he was being unfaithful to her. To deal with it all, she turned to writing.  First it was just random strings of thoughts jotted down in a notebook.  That turned to poetry.  She then started to hum tunes to her poems, creating little songs. When she finally started writing lyrics, that was when she felt the healing begin.  All of the pain, the anger, the sadness and the fear flowed from her fingers, penning beautiful, story-like lyrics.  At first she'd use Dustin's beat up old guitar to pluck out a basic tune, but after months of self teaching, the basicness blossomed. 

On one particular warm spring afternoon, Stephanie had been sitting at the bus stop, humming along to her newly created tune. She started to sing, belting out the chorus at the top of her lungs, not caring who heard or what anyone thought.  So lost in her moment, she hadn't noticed the sleek, black BMW that came to a halt at the stoplight. The windows had been down and Stephanie's voice wafted through to the driver.  The honking brought her out of her reverie and she glanced around, noticing a hand waving at her frantically. She cautiously approached the car, plucking the business card from the man's out stretched hand. It read ‘producer’ and listed the name of a recording studio. He told her to come by the next day and play a couple of her songs for his team.  She had done just that. They had been impressed and had signed her on the spot as a songwriter. 

Stephanie’s life took quite the left turn. She started to write hit after hit for the country music scene and the money soon started to roll in.  They bought a house and started driving nicer cars.  However, she had noticed that her husband’s drinking had only started getting worse. He’d stay out late, stumbling in as she was leaving for work. Then he started not coming home at all. Stephanie wasn’t stupid, she knew what he was doing. He had stopped wanting her sexually and he had stopped communicating with her.  They had become strangers living under the same roof. 

It had been Valentine’s Day, five years after she had started her career, she had gotten home later than usual. The house had been dark and Dustin’s car hadn’t been in the garage or the driveway. She’d dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and had kicked her heels off before hiking up the stairs to her bedroom.  The door had been shut, and she had paused for a moment, not remembering shutting it when she’d left that morning. She had shrugged and continued on, pushing the door open with her shoulder. Stopped in her tracks by the grunts and moans that emanated from the dark space, she angrily flipped on the light, bathing the couple in all of their cheating glory.  She had known that he had been unfaithful but to see it with her own eyes, that was the last straw.  He hadn’t said anything to her. They had both just gotten dressed and had slipped past her and had left the house. She’d packed up a couple bags, making sure to grab the stash of cash that she kept hidden, buried in the back of her dresser. She had thrown her luggage into the back of her car, drove around town, hitting as many ATMs as she could and then headed for a hotel to crash for the night.  The next day, she had gone in to meet with her boss and had explained to him what had happened.  She had told him that she needed to leave, needed to get away from Dustin, as far away as she could get.  He had understood and had offered her his help.  He had connections in Los Angeles and would have a job all set up for her when she got there.  She had been super grateful and all he had asked of her, was that she would keep writing songs for him.  She’d agreed and had soon been on her way out of town. 

She had been married to Dustin for 15 years. In those 15 years she had lived his life and his dreams. They had been through hell with every lost child and for the first time in those 15 years, she had been doing something she loved, something she was good at, something that made her happy. She should have known that he would have ruined it for her.  He couldn’t stand seeing her get all the attention. He couldn’t stand seeing her happy.  He loved spending her money but he hated that it was her that was bringing it in. Leaving him was something she should have done long ago.  She didn’t love him, hadn’t in several years and for once, for once, she was going to live the life she was meant to be living. 

She had enough cash to get her to LA, but with every city and town she’d travel through, she’d try and stop. She’d look for a farmer’s market, or street fair, or a busy street corner and she’d stand and play. Her small gigs helped to fund her journey.  She was tired, two weeks on the road had drained her, but as she crested the mountain, the lights of LA shone brightly in her eyes. It was late, too late for her to give her new place of work a call, so she drove into downtown and found a small motel to hole up in for the night. Why is it that one always feels so dirty after being on the road? Stephanie hauled her bags into the room, tossing them onto the bed.  She rummaged through until she found her comfy sweat pants and a t-shirt. Her bundle of clothes in her hand she ducked into the tiny bathroom, flipping on the shower to allow the hot water to steam up the space.  She walked back over to the bed, grabbing the remote off the nearby nightstand. She turned it on, changing the channels until she settled on a what appeared to be some sort of drama.  She took her shower, the hot water seeping into her skin, washing away the grime of the road.  As she was toweling off her body, she froze. It couldn’t be, but that voice.  She walked back into the other room, the wet towel dangling from her hand.  She stared at the show. Shaking her head, she convinced herself that she had just been imagining things. She was back in the bathroom, drying her hair when she heard it again.  Dropping the wet fabric to the floor, she quickly made her way back to the TV. It hadn’t been her imagination. There he was. He was older, but that face and that voice was undeniable. She had spent her entire childhood listening to that voice.  Her entire childhood had been spent staring at that face and her entire teenage years were spent loving him. He flashed off the screen again and she waited, his face finally appearing once more.  She released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. The opening credits rolled and sure enough, there was his name, Matthew Gray Gubler, in bold print, giving her all the confirmation she needed. 


	2. Chapter 2

Curled up underneath the covers, Matthew’s show still playing in the background, Stephanie typed his name into Google on her phone. The amount of information that popped up shocked her. She’d been living in such a bubble for the last decade that she hadn’t even realized how famous he had become. She searched for this show, trying to find out where it was being filmed. Scrolling through a handful of websites, she came across the information she had been seeking.  Sure enough, the show was being filmed right here in LA, just across town from where she was currently staying. She wasn’t sure how she was going to pull it off, but she would have to figure out how to get a hold of him, let him know that she was living here now.  

 

Bright and early the next morning, she set out towards the recording studio that would be her new place of work. She also had a list of other things she needed to attend to, the second on that list being getting a good divorce lawyer and figuring out how to stop paying for her husband’s way of life. Once everything was cut off, she knew that he would be pissed and that he’d probably come looking for her, but she needed to worry about that later.  Right now, right now she needed to worry about the present events. 

 

She managed to find her way to the studio with minimal time lost losing her way. She checked in at the reception desk and waited patiently in the pristine, modern lobby. She tapped out a tune with her foot, checked her bag again for her demos, and checked to make sure that she had all of her lyric writing notebooks with her. She started to Google lawyers, checking to see which ones would deal with out of state cases. She was deep in the middle of her research when she heard her name being called.  She glanced up, meeting the bright blue eyes of a tall, thin, beautiful woman, in heels that would have made Stephanie fall flat on her face.

“Stephanie, I’m Adrienne Rhodes. You and I will be working together quite a bit. Let me take you to meet our boss.” She extended her hand, and Stephanie took it while standing. 

She followed the lanky woman down the hallway, listening to her shoes click clack on the tiled floor. They entered the elevator, rising up to one of the upper levels, before exiting and maneuvering their way through the maze of halls and offices. 

Adrienne stopped at a large, dark door and knocked twice before pushing it open. A man sat behind a glass desk, facing the window that put the city of LA on display. “Terry, this is Stephanie, our newest songwriting guru.”

The man stood, crossing the room towards the two women. “Stephanie, it is so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things about you and your success. Welcome to Freedom 16 Records. Please have a seat.” He motioned towards the two chairs in front of his desk and both women sat down. “I’ve had long discussions with the team at your old label, and we are offering you the same deal that you had there, only with a bump in pay, due to cost of living. I’ve read through and listened to several of your songs and I’m confident that your lyrics will transform easily to our genre of music. I’m also under the impression that you will still be writing for your old label, am I correct?”

Stephanie nodded her head, “I promised that I would write a couple songs a month for them. It should not interfere, and more than likely, they will get the songs that don’t work for you or your artists.”

He nodded his head, “That sounds like a very good plan to me. Now, Adrienne here has set you up in one of the company apartments. You are welcome to stay there until you find a place of your own. We also offer any support that we can in getting your settled here.”

The conversation lasted for several more minutes, Terry or Terrance Barnes continued to go over her contract and what was expected of her. She was only half listening but signed when and where she was told to. She asked several questions about lawyers, and was handed the card of the label’s legal team and told that they would help her in any way possible. As they were standing to leave, Stephanie wavered at the door, “I just have one final question, where are the CBS studios from here?”

Adrienne stopped and turned to look at her, “It’s not to far from the apartments that you will be staying in. Come with me and I will get your directions.”

 

Her new digs were much nicer than the dive of a motel she had crashed in the night before. After unpacking her few belongings, she grabbed the written directions she’d been given and set off in hopes of being able to see Matthew again. Adrienne had been right, the CBS studios were not to far from her new living quarters, but the guarded gate was going to pose a problem. She pulled up, the guard halting her. 

“Ma’am, this location is for authorized personnel only. The guest location is located a few miles away.” He leaned down, his eyes level with hers.

“John,” She read his nametag, “I realize that I don’t have permission to be here but is there anyway you could get a message to a friend? I’ve just recently moved here and found out that an old friend works here. Oh god, I’m sure that you’ve heard this entire spiel before. ” 

The man chuckled, “I’ve heard several versions of the same story, yes, but you seem like a nice lady. Why don’t you jot down what you want to say and I will deliver it when I see them.”

Stephanie accepted the offered piece of paper and envelope and quickly scribbled down a quick message. Simply, she stated that she was living here now, that she’d like to see him and gave him her number. She wasn’t sure if he’d even remember her but she was going to just hope that he did. She placed the note in the envelope and handed it back to the guard. “Thank you so much John, I very much appreciate your kindness.”

He glanced at the name written on the front, “I’ll do my best to get this to Mr. Gubler.”

She nodded again, carefully backing up and heading off in the direction of her apartment.

 

Several weeks passed and Stephanie developed a routine in her new life. She’d found a new place to live. She enjoyed going into work every day and had made friends with several of her new co-workers. She had met with the legal team and they were in the process of sending divorce papers to her husband, getting her royalty checks routed to her new bank and putting her home up for sale. They had also sent a team of people to pack up her belongings, at least the few items that she had wanted. She had gotten word that Dustin was angry and had threaten the lawyers and the movers, to the point where the police had to be called and he was arrested. Since he had no money, he couldn’t post bail and so the last she had heard he was still sitting in the county jail, awaiting his arraignment. Truthfully, beyond the information she needed to know and what she learned from the lawyers, Dustin was almost a distant memory.  However, Matthew Gubler was always on the forefront of her mind. She had wondered if he had received her note and had even gone back to the CBS studios to inquire about it. John had informed her that he had indeed given the note to him but if there was something else she’d like to leave for him, he’d make sure, again, to get it to him. So she had, two weeks ago, but yet she still had not heard from him. She was beginning to believe that he didn’t remember her, which made her a little sad. One good thing about his status though, was the simple fact that he was very active on social media. One quick post about an improv night and she snatched up two tickets to the event. If he wouldn’t remember her from a note or two, maybe he would remember her if she was standing in front of him. 

 

“Thank you for coming with me Adrienne.” Stephanie pulled into an empty parking spot. “It might have been a little strange had I shown up here all by myself.”

Adrienne giggled and grabbed her purse before opening the car door, “Of course, I wouldn’t miss this. I want to see the look on his face when he sees your sexy self.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Oh whatever! We both know that you’re the sexy one.”

They approached the growing line in front of the theater and took their place near the end. 

“Do we have actual seats, or is this a general admission sort of deal?” Adrienne, in her heels, towered over everyone they were standing near. 

“Umm…” Stephanie dug into her purse, extracting the tickets, “We have actual seats, and we are sitting in the front row.”

“Wow, how’d you manage to snag those?” Adrienne glanced down at the tickets. 

“Complete and utter persistence.” Stephanie laughed as she tucked the tickets back into her purse for safekeeping. “I can’t believe that this many people are here to see him. It’s so hard for me to imagine this many women swooning over him.” She glanced around her, studying the many faces that were waiting with them. 

“I’ve watched this show Steph, he’s good at what he does. It doesn’t take one long to realize what makes him so special to so many.” 

Adrienne was right and Stephanie knew it.  She had known it back when they were kids, teenagers running around together. She had known it when he had left to go off to college and she had promised that she’d wait for him. 

The line begin to move and Adrienne and Stephanie followed suit. They settled themselves into their seats near the stage and Stephanie waited, her heart pounding, to see the boy she once loved, as the man he had become. 

 

Matthew Gubler was hysterical. Stephanie’s stomach hurt from the laughter that this production was causing. However, when he had first jogged up onto the stage, his eyes meeting hers, he had quickly looked away. The recognition was there. He knew who she was, but he had acted like he had no idea.  Throughout the rest of the show, his eyes would graze over her and rest onto Adrienne’s face. She didn’t understand why he would recognize her but not acknowledge her, it just didn’t make sense. She tried to just let it roll off, chalking it up to time and the distance that had separated them for so long.  She figured that afterwards, when they would go out back and she’d be able to stand before him, that he’d do more than just recognize her with his eyes. 

 

The show ended and both women giggled as they walked around to the back of the theater. A large group had already formed and they stood near the rear of the crowd, Stephanie taking the time to just watch him. He was happy, his smile infectious. The women and girls that waited for him hung on his every word.  He was all too happy to pose for selfies, to sign countless autographs, and to accept the many gifts that were pushed at him. Several of the young ladies he knew by name, they obviously had been in this position times before.  She studied him carefully.  He never glanced towards the back of the line, avoiding eye contact with her. 

“Is it just me, or is he avoiding you?” Adrienne bent down and whispered in Stephanie’s ear.

Stephanie kept her eyes focused on Matthew’s face, “Oh, it’s not just you. He is avoiding me, hard core.”

Adrienne cocked her head to the side just as Matthew’s eyes met hers. He smiled and she politely smiled back. “God Steph, he has an incredible smile.”

Stephanie laughed while elbowing her in the side. 

The crowd grew smaller and smaller and soon it was a handful of people left standing. Adrienne approached him first, sticking her hand out and introducing herself.  “Do you mind if we get a picture?”

He smiled at her again, “I’d love to.”

Adrienne went to hand her camera to Stephanie but he snatched it out of her hand. 

“Here, it will be more fun if we take a selfie.” He extended his long arm and snapped several pictures. 

Stephanie stood off to the side, baffled by the odd behavior but then, she didn’t know him as well as she once did. Once Adrienne had her camera back in her possession, Stephanie cautiously approached Matthew. He briefly, once again, made eye contact with her before looking away. 

“Umm… Matthew, hi.” Stephanie muttered nervously.

“Hi.” Was his quick response.

She stood there staring at him. Nothing, she got nothing more. 

“I hate to cut this short but I am late for another engagement.” He turned to leave, his back now the part of him she could see. “Thank you everyone for coming out tonight.” He waved at the crowd as he trotted across the parking lot and climbed into a waiting vehicle. 

A gaggle of girls were left, watching him leave. Their eyes darted from Matthew’s retreating form to Stephanie’s dazed look. 

Adrienne moved towards the young women, “The interaction that just took place between Matthew Gubler and her,” Adrienne pointed at the back of Stephanie’s head, “Was that normal?”

Every single one of them shook their heads no.

“That’s what I was expecting. Thank you so much.” She glided over and grabbed her friend’s arm, forcing them both towards Adrienne’s car. 


	3. Chapter 3

Stephanie watched as the desert landscape zoomed past her. She was on her way home, back to Las Vegas. She hadn’t been back in over 15 years, but now that she’d been in LA for a few months, it was time to go back and see her mother.  When she had left home all those years ago, she had left on bad terms with her mom but over the last several weeks, their relationship had started to be repaired. Stephanie was going the extra mile and taking a long weekend to go and visit. As she exited the freeway and started to weave her way through her old neighborhood, she passed by Matthew’s childhood home.  She knew that his parents had moved towards the outskirts of the city, settling near the border of California. What she hadn’t known, or even expected to see, was the tan Mercedes station wagon that she had seen him leave in that night at the improv club. Her heart beat against her rib cage and she had to take several steadying breaths so she wouldn’t black out. 

 

After that night, she had racked her brain trying to figure out why he had given her the cold shoulder. Not just the cold shoulder, but he had gone out of his way to make sure that she knew he didn’t want to talk to her, or see her for that matter. She couldn’t pinpoint what she had done wrong, but there had to be something, there just had to be. The answer to that was one of the many reasons why she was going to see her mother. She rounded the corner and pulled into her mom’s driveway. She sat in the car for a few moments, staring up at the two story dwelling. She’d spent her entire childhood in this home, running around these streets, and growing up in the soft glow of the Las Vegas strip. She reached into the back seat and grabbed a hold of her bag, dragging it from the car with her. She let the door close with a quiet thud and moved her feet along the cracked front path to the stark red door. She knocked twice and waited. The handle turned and the door creaked open, her mother’s face appearing on the other side. 

 

“Mom,” Stephanie tentatively spoke but a large oof was  pushed from her lungs as her mother’s arms wrapped around her torso tightly.

“Baby, I’ve missed you so much.” Lauren McKenzie held her daughter out at arm’s length so she could get a good look at her. “Sweetie, you are beautiful.”

Stephanie blushed and reached in to give her mother another hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Lauren held the door open wider and allowed her daughter to move past her into the living room. “I’ve got your old room all ready, you can put your stuff in there.” She pointed towards the stairs and watched her daughter disappear up them and around the corner. She smiled and shuffled back into the kitchen, the smell of dinner permeating the house. 

“It smells so good.” Stephanie reappeared, hopping up onto one of the many stools tucked in under the counter. “Nothing smells as good as a home cooked ‘mom’ meal.”

“I hope you’re hungry then because I’ve prepared a feast for you.” Lauren opened the oven and Stephanie’s eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of the many dishes bubbling away.

 

Stephanie leaned back, clutching at her stomach. “Oh my god, that was so good. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to move.”

Lauren chuckled and started to clear away the used dishes. “Well, there is a very comfy sofa in the other room. You should go and lie down.”

“Mom,” Stephanie quietly called out.

Lauren popped her head back into the room, “Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?” Stephanie watched as her mother nodded, “It’s about Matthew Gubler.”

Lauren was quiet and Stephanie wasn’t quite sure that she’s heard her.

“You remember him, right? He lived right around the corner.”

“I know who you’re talking about Stephie but what is your question?” Lauren wiped her hands on her apron and pulled the chair, next to her daughter, out. 

“Well, I’ve tried to get in contact with him a few times but it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me. I mean, he recognizes me. I went to this improv thing he was doing and he saw me but he just ignored me. It’s like… well it’s almost like he hates me.” Stephanie was trying not to ramble but the words were just coming out.

“Oh sweetie, you can’t blame him for acting like that. You did a number on him when you left.” Lauren patted Stephanie’s hand. 

“What are you talking about?” 

Lauren shook her head, “Don’t you remember?” The look that glazed over Stephanie’s eyes was enough of an answer. “You told him that you’d wait for him. You were in love when he left for school. You would have gone with him if I would have allowed it. You talked to each other every day and you always told him that you’d be right here when he came home from school. Is any of this sounding familiar?”

Stephanie slowly nodded.

“Then you met Dustin. We were fighting constantly and with your dad gone, you just seemed so lost. I think that Dustin made you feel something and I’m not sure when you forgot about Matthew, but you seemed to push him from your thoughts completely.  After you got pregnant, I knew that Matthew was nothing but a distant memory for you.” Lauren stopped for a moment as she watched her daughter, “He tried to get a hold of you, you know?”

“Wait, what? He did?” Stephanie reached up and swiped at the tear that was threatening to trickle down her cheek, “When?”

“For the first few years after you’d left. I tried to tell him that it wouldn’t do any good, but he was persistent. Sure enough, he got you on the phone but from what his mother told me, you acted like you didn’t know who he was. I think that it just broke what was left of his heart and he did what he had to do to get over you. I’m fairly certain he never expected you to show up in LA.” Lauren pushed her chair away from the table and went back into the kitchen. 

Stephanie sat quietly for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of her mother doing the dishes. She got up and moved towards the front door. “I’ll be back.” She grabbed her keys and pulled open the door. 

 

She’s driven around the block three times. Each time she told herself it would be the last, but she’d end up making another lap. Finally, she slowed to a stop in front of his house and after a few more moments of internal arguing she exited her car and climbed the steps to his front door. She knocked softly at first, then rapped harder a couple more times. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited. The door swung open, revealing a petite, young looking woman. 

“What?” She spat at Stephanie.

“I’m… Um…. I’m looking for Matthew.” Stephanie shuffled on her feet, the nerves overtaking her.

“Lilly, who is it?” Stephanie heard his distinctive voice.

“Just some chick looking for you,” The girl named Lilly shouted back. She let go of the door and peeked around the corner, “Want me to get rid of her?”

“What are you talking….” Matthew’s words cut short as he noticed who was standing on the other side of his threshold. “Lilly, I’ll handle this. Go and start the movie without me.” Matthew waited until his guest was out of sight before turning his attention back to Stephanie. “What do you want?”

“Well hi to you too.” Stephanie was starting to grow weary of his childish behavior.

“I thought I’d been pretty clear that I don’t want to talk to you and that I don’t want to see you.” Matthew stepped closer to her, pulling the door closed behind him. “So I ask again, what do you want and why are you here?”

“I came to visit my mom and I noticed that your car was in the driveway. I wanted to come and explain.”

Matthew shook his head, “It’s too late for an explanation Stephanie. You had every chance in the world to explain to me why you’d just up and leave, breaking every promise you’d ever made to me and not even bothering to say good bye.”

“Look, Matthew, it isn’t like that. If you’d just let me tell you my...”

He cut her off, “It isn’t going to change anything. I loved you and you deserted me.”

“I was pregnant.” Stephanie interjected.

Matthew’s eyes narrowed at her, “And that’s supposed to make what you did excusable? If anything, that makes it worse.”

Stephanie’s head hung, “You’re right.” She muttered quietly to him.

“Sometimes wounds are just too deep for healing. It has taken me a long time to put you in my past and I don’t intend on ripping that wound open again. Now, I don’t want to sound like the bad guy here but I need you to leave.” He pushed the door back open with foot, catching it as he stepped back inside. “I’m asking you to please respect the fact that I don’t want you around, not right now, and possibly not ever.” With that final statement he shut the door, leaving her standing on the stoop alone. 


	4. Chapter 4

She held the tears at bay until the quiet thunk of the door closing shut echoed throughout the enclosed space of her car. The dam broke and the sobbing wracked her body. She didn’t fault him for feeling the way he did, if anything, she understood exactly why he was keeping her away. She had been selfish. She had been stupid. She had hurt the one person in her life she never had any intention of hurting. How could she have let this happen? It was simple, it had been pride and stubbornness.  She had been so focused on hurting her mother. So focused on running away with Dustin that she hadn’t even thought about what it might do to the people that she was actually leaving behind. 

 

Through the uncontrolled crying, she could make out the light tinging of her cell phone.  She sniffled, wiped at her eyes and dug into her purse. “Hello,” She croaked out.

“Mrs. Wright, this is Roger, your lawyer with Douglas, Freeman and Adamson. I’m calling to inform you that your husband, Dustin Wright, has posted bail and subsequently left Nashville. The police have of course been notified and his assets have been frozen.  Unfortunately, he withdrew a substantial amount of money from your joint account. He is currently in the wind and we have also advised the LAPD to keep him on their watch list.”

The crying had ceased, “Thank you for letting me know. I very much doubt that Dustin will seek to harm me in any way, but he doesn’t like it when he doesn’t get his own way. Did he happen to return the divorce papers.”

The lawyer on the other end of phone hummed and Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Let me guess, he returned them unsigned with a note that says ‘Fuck You?’”

“As a matter of fact that is exactly how he returned them.”

“Well, I guess when he is caught and picked up for jumping bail, we can worry about getting them signed.” Stephanie sighed, this wasn’t exactly what she wanted to deal with right now.

“Yes Mrs. Wright. We will keep working on it and I will keep you informed if anything in the situation changes.”

“I appreciate that very much Roger, thank you.” Stephanie hung up the phone and glanced out the car window at the lights glowing from Matthew’s house. Her shoulders slumped forward a little and she reached for the ignition, turning the key, bringing her car to life. 

 

“So, how was Las Vegas?” Adrienne set a cup of coffee down on the desk near Stephanie’s hand.

Stephanie shrugged her shoulders, “Not quite the weekend I had been expecting.”

“Oh, please elaborate.”

“I saw Matthew.” Stephanie’s voice was quiet when she muttered his name.

Adrienne plopped down in the chair across from her friend, “What do you mean you saw Matthew?”

“I drove by his old house. Remember, I told you that we had grown up together. He lived around the corner from me.  So when I was driving to my mom’s house, I went right by his childhood home. His car was parked in the driveway.”

“So you thought it would be a good idea to just march up to his front door and knock?” Adrienne leaned forward, her elbows resting on the desk before her. 

Stephanie nodded, “Well, I went to see my mom first and it was after dinner, after she told me what my leaving had done to him, that was when I thought it would be a good idea to go and see him. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I guess, well, I guess I thought that I could explain my side.”

“Oh sweetie,” Adrienne’s eyes were sympathetic. “What did he say?”

“That he didn’t want to see me,” A single tear rolled down Stephanie’s cheek. “He said he didn’t want to hear my side, that it wouldn’t make any difference.  Adrienne, I broke him. I broke the boy I used to be so in love with.”

Adrienne reached across and took one of her friend’s small hands in hers, “You just need to give him some time, some space. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t expecting you to just pop up back into his life and he wasn’t prepared to be bombarded by you.” She watched as Stephanie just nodded, so she continued, “I’m sure he will eventually want to talk to you. If you two really had a bond that was as strong as you claim it was, he won’t be able to keep you away for long, and he won’t want to. However, I have some good news.”

Stephanie’s head perked up, “And what would that be?”

“We have been asked to provide a song for the end credits of a movie. Now, this is a small indy film, but still, it’ll be good exposure and I asked Terry if you could be the one to write it.”

“Really? Why me?” Stephanie fiddled with the pencil lying in front of her.

“Because, they want a harrowing type of song and since you write from personal experience and I know that you would be able to squeeze that type of melancholy emotion out of the movie goers. So, what do you think?”

Stephanie pondered for a few moments, a sad smile forming on her lips. “I think that I have a pretty good idea of what will work.”

“That’s my girl! Now, you and me for lunch today?” Adrienne watched from the doorway as Stephanie nodded her head. She was worried about her friend, but she knew that it was just going to take some time.

 

Stephanie tapped her heel against the leg of the chair. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous about performing for this director.  She had performed before, several times in fact, but this song, this song felt so much more personal than all of the others.

Adrienne placed a hand on her bouncing knee, “Will you stop that, you’re shaking my chair.” 

Her knee ceased its movement, “I’m sorry, I’m just freaking nervous.”

“Really, couldn’t tell!” Adrienne giggled, “You will do great and he’s going to love the song.”

“You benefit if he likes it, therefore, you of course are going to say that it’s good. I’m not a singer. I don’t understand why you insisted on me doing this.”

“Because your voice fits the song well and because you will display all of the emotion needed to make it that much better. You know all of this, we’ve been over it countless times. Will you stop doubting yourself and just smash it like I know you will.” Adrienne patted Stephanie’s knee before leaning forward to dig in her briefcase. 

The door to the office they were waiting in front of, opened, and a lovely young woman, in heels that matched the height of Adrienne’s appeared, “Ms. Wright, Miss Rhodes, follow me please.”

They both stood, grabbing their belongings and following the swish of the woman’s skirt down a narrow hallway, into another office. 

 

“Ricky!” Adrienne exclaimed as a man came into the women's view. “How are you doing?”

The man stood and approached Adrienne, enveloping her in a friendly hug. “I've been great.  When are you going to let me cast you in one of my films?”

“Try never,” She laughed and sat down on the couch pushed up against the far wall, a bay of windows framing it. “Ricky this is Stephanie, the newest addition to Freedom 16.”

Ricky stuck out his big paw of a hand and Stephanie grasped it, “Thank you for allowing me this opportunity Mr. Bates.”

“Oh please, no need to be so formal around here, just call me Ricky. So Adrienne here tells me that you've got quite the little gem for me.”

“I just hope that it matches the tone and feel of the movie.” Stephanie pulled out her guitar and picked at the strings, making sure that it was tuned. 

She started out slow, her voice low and melodic, almost haunting. 

 

**_Tonight the sunset means so much_ **

**_The one thing that you know you'll never touch_ **

**_Like the feeling, the real thing_ **

**_I reach out for that sweet dream_ **

 

She was trying her hardest to not get swept up in the emotions it took to pen this tune and it’s lyrics to paper but with each strum and chord change, she couldn’t help but fall just a little bit deeper into that darkness. It started with one tear, slowly trickling its way down her cheek. 

 

**_But somehow the darkness wakes me up_ **

**_I've felt this emptiness before_ **

**_But all the times that I've been broken_ **

**_I still run right back for more_ **

 

Flashes of past memories flipped through her head, each one stabbing at her a little harder than the last. She hated what she had done to him and she hated the current situation she found herself in with regards to him. She wished she had never left him. She wished she had never met Dustin. She wished that she had never ran away. She wished that she hadn’t spent the last 15 years with a man she didn’t love. No matter what her wishes were, the reality was she had done all of those things and now, now she had to pay the price. 

 

**_You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now_ **

**_You'd think that I'd somehow figure out_ **

**_That if you strike the match_ **

**_You're bound to feel the flame_ **

 

As she neared the end, she slowed it down just a bit more. She wanted to add the emphasis of pain and suffering, the words matching the swirling feelings inside of her. The last note she held out, completely lost in herself. There was a long moment of silence as the song hung in the air. It wasn’t until Adrienne released the breath she had been holding, that Stephanie was brought of out of reverie. 

“That was be beautiful Steph,” She gushed, reaching up to rub the tears from her eyes.

“I agree with Adrienne. That song will be perfect. The way you performed that… I’m guessing it’s very personal to you.” Ricky handed the girls a box of tissue. 

Stephanie nodded, “It is. It’s all about regret. I walked away from a really good friend of mine when I was younger, more like the man I loved. I’ve very recently come to realize just how much I hurt him and just how horrible I was for doing what I did. He didn’t deserve it and I’ve tried to reach out but he doesn’t want anything to do with me right now.” 

 

**_You think that I'd learn the cost of love_ **

**_Paid that price long enough_ **

**_But still I drive myself right through the pain_ **

**_Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing_ **

 

Ricky stood, walking over to his desk to grab a stack of papers. He moved back over to the chair he had vacated and sat back down. “Interesting, one of the actors in this film has a very similar story. His childhood sweetheart left him while he was away at college. I guess she took off with another guy, to somewhere in the south, and even when he finally managed to get in contact with her, she apparently acted like she had no idea who he was. I guess she didn’t didn’t even tell him that she’d left with the guy, he found out when he came home on summer break.”

Stephanie tilted her head, “Would his name happen to be Matthew Gubler?”

Ricky nodded, “Yes. Wait, how did you know that?”

 

**_Sometimes I think I'm better off_ **

**_To turn out the lights and close up shop_ **

**_And give up the longing, believing in belonging_ **

**_Just hold down my head and take the loss_ **

 

“This song is about him.” She stated matter of factly.

Ricky laughed, “Well, it is even more fitting of a song than I originally thought.”

Stephanie was quiet for a moment, her eyes wandering to the window that held a view of the Hollywood sign. The longer she spent in LA, the smaller and smaller her world seemed to get. What were the odds that the song she had written about Matthew would end up a movie starring Matthew? “Is it a good idea to have this song in the movie? I mean, if he finds out I wrote it, he may insist that it not be there anyway.”

Ricky just shook his head, “This is my movie, not his and if you don’t want him to know that the song was written by you and that it’s about him, then I won’t tell him.” He stopped, watching her as she fidgeted. “Have you talked to him recently?”

She nodded her head slowly.

“You don’t have to elaborate, it’s really none of my business.”

“He just told me that he doesn’t want to talk to me right now, maybe not ever. That was a couple weeks ago in Vegas. I don’t even know if he’s back in LA.”

**_You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now_ **

**_You'd think that I'd somehow figure out_ **

**_That if you strike the match_ **

**_You're bound to feel the flame_ **

 

“He isn’t in LA, currently he’s in New Orleans filming a movie. He’ll be back in town in about a month. Matthew, as you probably know, is a very forgiving person, just give him some time.” Ricky pulled a pen out of his pocket and handed the stack of papers in his hand to Stephanie. “Now, back to the business at hand and let’s make this deal legal.”

 

**_You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love_ **

**_Paid that price long enough_ **

**_But still I drive myself right through the pain_ **

**_Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing_ **


	5. Chapter 5

A loud thump forced Stephanie’s head to flick upwards. She glared at her friend, a smile gracing her face. “That seriously is not funny Adrienne.”

“It’s not supposed to be funny,” Adrienne chuckled, “It was, however, meant to get your attention and well, that worked out well. Now, as for tonight, you and I are going to get our sexy on and we are gonna hit just about every club we possibly can, all in the effort to help you forget about a certain boy.”

Stephanie shook her head, “I’m not in the mood to go clubbing.”

“I will not be taking no for an answer. I will be following you to your place, where we will get you all hot and stuff and then it’ll be my turn. Now, wrap it out so we can get out of here.”

Stephanie briefly thought of protesting but decided that it would be a wasted effort, so instead, she just sighed and grabbed her bag. “Fine, let’s go.”

Adrienne clapped her hands together and followed her friend out the door, a slight skip in her step. Stephanie couldn’t help but giggle at her enthusiasm. 

 

Donned in their clubbing finest, they exited the cab at their first stop. The bouncer guarding the entrance, noticed them straight away and immediately allowed them access into his establishment. They strolled in, the music was thumping loudly and a large mass had already started to form on the dance floor. It was still fairly early, but it appeared as if downtown LA was the place to be. Drinks were offered and so the fun of the night began. The dancing didn’t stop. The drinks didn’t stop. The girls ushered themselves through several nightclubs. Each stop the crowds seemed to be larger and the drinks seemed to flow more freely. Stephanie was drinking away her black cloud of sorrow. The alcohol was sloshing away the memories and thoughts of Matthew Gubler. She had a smile on her face and laughter in her soul. It may have been a manufactured happiness, created by the assorted liquids that she continued to pour down her throat, but for tonight, she would take it. 

 

By one o’clock in the morning, they stumbled their way out of the last club, attempting to hail a cab. More giggling was being done than actual attempting and it took the kindness of the bouncer to actually get them on their way home. Stephanie’s apartment was the closest, so they had made the decision to just crash there for the night. More stumbling ensued and Stephanie managed to get her friend into her spare room. She flopped down on the bed, face first and immediately curled up into a ball. Stephanie removed her shoes and carefully covered her up with the blanket resting on the end of the bed. She went into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water, setting one next to Adrienne before tripping into her own bedroom. Her shoes were kicked off and her small clutch was tossed onto her bed. As she went to peel off her dress, she noticed that her phone had slipped out. She reached forward and pressed the home button, the screen lighting up and revealing several text messages, a couple missed calls and a voice mail. She picked up the small device and took it with her into the bathroom. Pressing the play button, she flipped the water on to allow it to warm up. His voice broke through the din in the small space and she quickly picked the phone up, bringing it closer to her face.

“Hey...umm… Stephanie. It’s Matthew. I just...umm… wanted to call and apologize for my behavior in Vegas. I was angry and...well I was confused and nervous and I didn’t know what to say to you. It was recently brought to my attention that I should let you explain, let you give me your side of the story. So, it’s late now and who knows when you’ll actually get this message, but I’m in New Orleans and you know that I’ll be up, so call me. Um...yeah, just call me.”

 

The message went silent and Stephanie checked the time of the call. It had taken place a mere hour ago. She checked the current time in New Orleans. It was almost four but she did know the teenager him, and he was never one to go to bed early. She could take the chance and call him, even in her drunken state or she could sober up and call him in the morning. It wasn’t a difficult choice, and she hastily hit the redial button, the phone started loudly in her ear.  The ringing continued, once, twice, three, four times and she was just about to hang up, when his gravely voice answered.

“Stephanie?”

She held her breath, afraid of letting herself believe that this wasn’t a dream. She nodded her head, soon realizing that he couldn’t hear a nod. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry that it’s so late.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep. Look, I really am sorry for how I treated you.” His voice grew quiet, “I had a lot of mixed emotions about you being on my doorstep.”

“I would have called and warned you, but I didn’t have your number.”

He chuckled, “And that would also be my fault.” 

“You had every right to be angry with me, hell, you still have every right to be mad at me. I deserve it. I can’t take back what I did, but I can try and make it up to you, if you’ll let me.” Stephanie’s head was pounding but she wanted, no she needed this conversation with him. 

“I’m not promising anything Steph,” Matthew sighed. “Right now, I’m letting you explain. I’m doing what I didn’t let you do those few weeks ago.”

Stephanie took a deep breath and crawled up onto her bed, “Is there anything in particular you’d like to know?” She wiggled down under the covers, pulling them up to her chin.

“Why did you leave?”

“At the time, I left because I was angry,” She rolled her eyes as the memory swept back to her. “I was hurting after losing my dad and I stopped being able to handle my mother’s anger. She was so miserable and she took it out on me. You weren’t there with me and I was starting to feel bad for calling you constantly. You were so busy with school and your new life, and I think I just felt very alone. Then Dustin showed up and he was, well he felt like a savior in a sense.” Stephanie paused for a moment, trying to organize her story, “He had all of these big ideas, and hopes and dreams and I got so caught up in it. My mother hated him, which only made me want to be with him more. We started to talk about moving away together, chasing his dreams to Nashville, but I was torn. Then...well then I got pregnant…” She heard his sharp intake of breath and she paused again. “Are you okay?”

Matthew was silent but she could hear him breathing. As she was about to continue, he spoke up. “I’m fine, please just keep going before I can’t listen anymore.”

“My mother was so angry that she kicked me out of the house. Dustin and I took off that night for Tennessee and started what was supposed to be our new wonderful life. However, it didn’t turn out that way. Things went from bad to worse. I lost the baby, but not just that one, I had several miscarriages, each one driving a wedge deeper and deeper into my marriage. Finally, I walked in on him having sex with another woman in my bed. He didn’t say anything to me, just walked out and that was the night that I left. I came to LA, and honestly Matthew, I never expected that you would somehow make your way back into my life. My first night in LA, I saw your show on TV and so many feelings came flooding back. Everything that I thought I had lost and forgotten for all of those years living in misery, they came back and I felt the twinge of hope. I just knew that if I could find you and talk to you that everything would be okay again. I was being a bit naive with that thinking, but being with you, that was the last time I was truly happy and I wanted that again.” She stopped. She had already told him more than she had intended to, but bearing her soul was the only way, at this moment, that she could do in order to regain his trust. 

“I am sorry that you had to go through all of that Steph but you could have called me. At any point you could have picked up a phone or you could have left him but you didn’t. When I tried to find you, when I finally found you, you acted like you had no idea who I was. That hurt and it was at that point that I knew I had lost you and that I had to move on. It took me a long time but I did. I put you behind me and I moved on with my life. So you can understand just how much you showing back up in my life has rocked me.” Matthew’s voice had a slight edge and Stephanie couldn’t help but cringe.

“Matthew…” Stephanie started but she wasn’t sure how to proceed. What could she say that would make it all better? What could she say that would heal all of his pain? What could she say that would undo the past? There wasn’t anything she could say, but if he gave her a chance, maybe, just maybe, she could do something that would help to heal all of those past wounds. “Matthew, I can’t change what has happened. I can’t fix it with words, but I’m hoping that you’ll let me make it up to you, that you’ll let me back into your life.”

“Like I said, I can’t promise anything but I’m willing to start over, give us a clean slate. I wanted to keep you out of my life, I wanted that more than anything but seeing you, it made me realize that I need you back in my life. So, let’s just start off slow. I knew the girl, but I don’t know you. Let’s start there, okay,” Matthew’s voice grew quieter and Stephanie could hear the yawn that followed.

“Okay, that’s more than I could hope for.  Starting over it is,” She smiled, a warmth began to spread through her. 

“It’s late, get some sleep and we can talk again soon. I hope that your hangover isn’t too bad in the morning.” Matthew chuckled.

“Wait, how did you know that I had been drinking?” 

He laughed out loud, “You slurred a few of your words and what else would you be doing on a Friday night?”

She laughed along with him, “Good night Matthew.”

“Good night Steph,” He was about to hit the end call button when he heard her voice rise as he was pulling the phone away from his ear. “What did you say?”

“I said thank you for calling me.” 

“You’re welcome.”

With that, the phone fell silent in Stephanie’s ear and she snuggled even further down into her blankets. For the first time in years, she fell asleep with a smile adorning her face. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

The blaring of the damn alarm clock roused her out of her slumber. She rolled over, smacking the top of the blasted device in hopes that she’d manage to hit the off button. The room fell silent and she groaned loudly at the pain that pounded in her head. Stupid hangover. Stupid alcohol. She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing at them with the heels of her hands. She blindly reached back over, feeling around on her night stand for the bottle of water she had placed there last night. Her hand slapped at something, which was loudly followed by a sloshing, thunking sound, as the bottle hit the hardwood floor. 

“Shit,” Stephanie exclaimed. She opened her eyes, spying the bottle as it was joyously rolling under the bed. She inched her way towards the edge of the bed, her legs slipping out from beneath the covers and she eased them gently down until the touched the floor. She pushed herself into an upright position and rose up off the bed. Her world was spinning and she squinted her eyes again, the sun and the tilting creating more of a hammering sensation in her head. With her eyes still half closed, she walked out of her room and down the hallway into her kitchen. She made her way straight to the coffee pot. She carefully measured out the grounds and filled the machine with water, flicking on the switch to start the percolating. She reached up into the cupboard and grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and her favorite coffee mug. She popped off the cap off the medicine bottle and extracted two small pills, setting them on the counter next to the mug. She leaned forward and pulled her fridge door open, scanning the contents and realizing that she had nothing of substance to eat stored on its shelves. She shut the door and leaned up against the the counter, glancing down the hallway as she heard padded steps approaching her. 

“Morning sleepy,” She grinned at her obviously hungover friend.

Adrienne reached the kitchen, dropping to her knees on the carpet, flopping down onto her back, arms and legs outstretched. “Please don’t shout at me and why is it so fucking bright in here?”

Stephanie laughed, opening up the pill bottle once again. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge she bent down over her friend, “Here, take these and what do you say to a greasy breakfast down the street?”

“Oh yes, please,” Adrienne took the Tylenol and water that was offered. 

“Here’s a cup of coffee,” Stephanie poured the black liquid into the mug sitting on the counter, “I’m going to go and get dressed. You know what’s weird?”

Adrienne took a long slow sip of the hot coffee, “What?” 

Stephanie stuck her head out of her bedroom doorway, “I had the most realistic dream about Matthew last night. I dreamed that he called me and left a message wanting me to call him back, so I did, and we had a good conversation. He let me explain my side and then he said that we could, in a sense, start over. Crazy right?”

“You were super drunk, it was probably an alcohol induced fantasy. You want him to call you so you dreamt that he did. Now hurry and get dressed because I’m starving. Also, I feel like I’m going to vomit. How is that even possible?” Adrienne groaned slightly as Stephanie just giggled at her.

“Wait,” Stephanie, having just emerged from her room carrying her purse, dug through it frantically, “Where is my phone?”

Adrienne burped, covering her mouth. “Maybe it fell out,” She mumbled through her fingers. 

Stephanie held up her index finger, “Hold that thought, let me go and look.” She ducked back into her bedroom, reappearing seconds later with the small device clenched in her hand. She pressed one of the buttons on the side, illuminating the screen. “What the hell?”

Adrienne leaned up against her friend, peering over her shoulder, “Let me see.”

Stephanie held the phone so it was visible to the prying set of eyes, “Umm, apparently I wasn’t dreaming or at least I didn’t dream the entire thing.” Stephanie swiped at the screen, the text message app popped up for her to read. “It’s from Matthew...He says that he hopes that I got some sleep last night, that he’s sorry for calling me so late, and that he hopes my hangover isn’t too much of a bitch this morning. He also goes on to say that he looks forward to our future conversations. Adrienne, how drunk was I last night?”

Adrienne giggled and hiccuped at the same time, “We were both pretty fucking hammered and from the look on your face, I’m guessing you don’t remember anything from this supposed phone call.”

Stephanie just stared at her phone, her eyes blinking rapidly, trying to remember what had been said between her and Matthew. Taking a chance, her fingers begin to fly over the touch screen keyboard…

**Stephanie: So the hangover isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, so yeah...bonus and there is no need for an apology, I’m just glad that you called. Maybe next time, we can chat when I’m not swimming in liquor. Now headed out to fill my stomach with food that I’m fairly certain is bad for me. :)**

She pressed the send button, her heart pounding in her chest. She turned and looked at her friend, slumped over the arm of the couch. She laughed and reached for her hand, “Come on, let’s go and get that greasy food now.”

 

Stephanie’s eyes kept glancing down at her phone. It sat on the table next to her plate of  pancakes and eggs and as she munched her way through the delectable treats, she wondered if he’d even bother to text her back. 

“Stop it,” Adrienne reached over and slapped at Stephanie’s plate with her spoon, the noise bringing her friend back into reality. “If he wants to text you back he will, staring at your phone isn’t going to make him do it.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she continued to shovel food into her mouth. “I know,” She mumbled through a mouth full.

Adrienne set her silverware down, she looked across the booth at her hopeful friend. “Steph, what are you hoping is going to come of this?”

Stephanie stopped chewing and looked up, meeting her friends eyes, “I want my best friend back.”

“That’s it? And don’t lie to me,” Adrienne sent her a stern glare.

“Of course it isn’t all but it’s what I’m most hopeful for. I miss him Adrienne. I miss everything about him. The way he used to make me laugh, over the silliest things. When we were younger, probably 12 and 14, maybe even younger than that, he had this little magic act and I was his assistant. We’d perform at birthday parties and such. I even had the little sparkly leotard that you see professional assistants wear. He wore a tophat for goodness sake, but it was some of the best times that we had together. I truly believed that he could do anything he wanted to. I didn’t think that anything could stop him. I loved him Adrienne, I loved him so much.” Stephanie reached up and ran her hands over her eyes, ridding herself of the evidence of tears. 

“He grew up Steph, what if he’s not the same boy you remembered?”

Stephanie shrugged her shoulders, “He hasn’t changed.”

“How do you know that?” Adrienne leaned forward, placing her elbows on the laminate tabletop. 

Stephanie shrugged again, “I can’t really explain it...I just know.” She shoveled more pancake into her mouth, ending the line of questioning. 

Adrienne continued to watch her, a slight pang of worry began to creep up into her stomach. She wanted everything to work out for her friend, she deserved the happiness that awaited her out there, but she wasn’t sure that Stephanie was looking for that joy in the right place. 

 

As they waited for the waitress to bring them their change, Stephanie glanced over at her phone one last time, lighting up the home screen, ready to toss it into her purse. Her hand froze, and a cheesy grin slowly donned her face. “Addy, he texted me back!” She couldn’t contain her excitement and her hands started to shake slightly. 

Adrienne shook her head, giggling softly to herself. “Well, read it already and you better be reading it outloud.”

Stephanie tapped the notification and brought up the app. The message was short, “He said,  **Well it surely can’t be that bad for you if it’s curing the ever stubborn hangover. I’d say that the food is, indeed, quite good for you. I look forward to our future sober chat. ;).** ” Stephanie read it over and over again, some outloud, some in her head. 

Adrienne politely accepted the change that was handed to her, “Let’s go Miss Twitterpated… I have some things to do today and they don’t involve sitting at a sticky diner table listening to you rattle on and on.”

Stephanie couldn’t pull her eyes away from her phone as she blindly followed her friend out of the restaurant. 

 

The texting become the norm over the next couple of weeks and with each message, Stephanie felt that she was one small step closer to getting back into Matthew’s good graces. The communication was kept platonic and general but that didn’t phase her at all. She felt like they were slowly starting to get to know one another all over again. In between the texts, she was kept busy in the studio, perfecting the song that she was recording vocals and instruments for. Since this would be her debut as a singer, she wanted to make sure that everything was up to her standards, and this time she could control all aspects. Unbeknownst to her, Adrienne had taken a sample of the finished work and submitted it to a local club that held a monthly, prestigious open mic night. One week before the event, Stephanie was headed home for the evening, waiting patiently for the elevators to ding open. The familiar sound greeted her and as she stepped into the metal box, Adrienne ducked into it with her. 

“So, I have some news,” Adrienne punched the first floor button and the two friends began the slow descent. 

Stephanie glanced over at her. 

“Next Friday, you will be performing at The Lexington’s Open Mic Night.”

“What??” Stephanie’s mouth gaped open as she stared at her friend dumbfoundedly.

“I took the finished product of ‘Learned My Lesson’ and submitted it to them. They loved it and want you to be one of the feature performers for the night.”

“Addy, how many times do I have to tell you, I don’t perform. I write and I play but I don’t sing.” Stephanie stomped her small foot for emphasis with the last word.

“You keep saying that but everytime I listen to you sing and watch you, there is something so magical about it. I can’t tear my eyes away from you. There is just something about you, it’s so, well it’s just so blasted wonderful.”

Stephanie sighed, “Adrienne, I don’t know.”

“Come on, what will it hurt?”

“That is not the point. The point is you should have asked me first.”

“If I had asked, you would have said no.  Now, you have a decision to make, but remember that this opportunity doesn’t come around all that often.”

Stephanie stared at the metallic doors in front of her, “Fine.” One word, simple and final.

Adrienne clapped her hands, “Everyone will see exactly what I see in you. Oh, I’m so excited for next week.”

As the ride come a halt and the doors slid open, Stephanie ducked out quickly, knowing that if she stuck around any longer, she might be tempted to talk herself out of it. To be honest, a part of her was excited. She came to L.A. to follow her dreams and create her own adventures. Wasn’t this a new undertaking, a new path blazed? 


	7. Chapter 7

Adrienne walked by the window once again. She turned her head and glanced through the glass into the darkened room. Still empty. She stopped at the door and carefully turned the knob. She looked up and down the hallway, before turning the handle and slipping through into the control room. Instinctively she peered into the soundproof recording portion of the studio as she made her way towards the back of the room, where Stephanie’s office was located. She tapped softly. Proceeding with caution, after no sound came from the other side of the door, Adrienne pushed it open and tiptoed her way over the small desk that rested near the far corner of the room.  She reached for the top drawer, silently pulling it open. Sitting inside, underneath Stephanie’s phone, was a little book that she always kept with her. Stephanie didn’t necessarily like keeping all of her important contact information in her phone’s address book, so she had a hard copy in case of emergencies. Adrienne picked it up and flipped through it to the G section. Scanning the names, she stopped at the one she was seeking and quickly jotted it down on a Post it note from Stephanie’s desk. She replaced the book and exited the room just as quietly as she had entered it. Once back out in the hallway, she punched the number into her phone and waited patiently while he rang in her ear.

“Hello,” His voice sounded in her ear.

“Matthew, it’s Adrienne Rhodes. I’m friends with Stephanie Wright.” Adrienne began her journey back to her office, wanting to having this conversation away from prying ears.

“Oh hey. Is everything okay?” 

“Yes, yes, everything is fine. I’m sure that Stephanie hasn’t mentioned this to you, but she will be performing at The Lexington this Friday. Have you, by chance, heard the song that she wrote and sang for Ricky Bate’s newest movie?” Adrienne reached her office, shutting herself inside of it.

“Wait, Stephanie did what? A song? I haven’t heard anything. Ricky mentioned nothing about that to me,” Matthew’s voice was laced with confusion. 

Adrienne’s brow creased, “I guess I just figured he had told you, since you know, you called her shortly after we met with him.”

“He called and told me that he heard a song by a young woman that reminded him of my situation and that I should give Stephanie a chance to explain. I had told him that she had stopped by my place in Vegas, he knows the whole story. What does this have to do with the song that she wrote?”

“Well, the song is about you.” Adrienne wasn’t entirely sure that she should be telling him this, but she would just deal with the consequences of her actions at a later date. 

“And Ricky knew this,” Matthew asked her quietly.

Adrienne sighed, “Yes he did, Stephanie told him. She also mentioned to him that he probably wouldn’t be a good idea to tell you that bit of information, as she was afraid that it would make you angry.”

“Oh,” Was all he said.

“Look, if you happen to be in town, she would really appreciate it if you’d be there. I know that it would mean a lot to her.” Adrienne was losing hope, his silence was foreboding.

There were moments of dead air and she was afraid that he had hung up on her.

“Will she be singing that song?” His voice was still quiet.

“Yep, that one and another original piece.” 

“I actually get back into LA late Thursday night, so I should be able to make it. What time does she go on?”

A smile formed on Adrienne’s lips, “She will be going on at 9:30.”

“Do you happen to know if Ricky has a copy of the song?”

“He does. Matthew, I think it might be best if you wait and hear it that night. One of the best things about Stephanie is all of the emotion she portrays when she performs. It will make hearing it that much more meaningful.”

“I didn’t know that she sang? When did she start doing that? I thought she was just writing songs? She never mentioned anything about singing?”

Adrienne sighed again, shaking her head, “The singing has been recent.”

“When did it start? And for that matter, when did she start writing?” Matthew’s voice was filled with curiosity.

“After the third loss. It was her way of dealing with the pain and with Dustin’s indiscretions. Look, these are topics that she should be telling you, not me. As for when she started singing, it was with the song for Ricky’s movie. I pushed her into doing it and honestly, it’s what she was made to be doing. You’ll see, when you show up on Friday.”

“Alright, tell her that I’ll do my best to be there.” 

“About that Matthew, it might be best if we don’t tell her. If she knows that you plan on showing up but then fail to do so, it will crush her.” 

“Hmmm, maybe you’re right. Adrienne,” Matthew said her voice with caution.

“Yes,” Adrienne muttered.

“Thank you. I know that being in the middle isn’t an easy place to be, but I’m glad that she’s got you and I really am thankful that you told me all of this.” 

He sounded sincere to her, but Adrienne still worried about her friend. “I realize that your relationship with Steph is sticky at best, but she is fragile right now, so please, don’t crush her.”

“I will be treading carefully, I promise. Thanks again and I’ll be meeting you on Friday.” With that Matthew hung up the phone. 

 

Stephanie paced the back room. Her guitar had been tuned and was propped up in the corner, waiting for their turn on stage. To say she was nervous was a fucking understatement, she was terrified. 

“Can you please just sit down?” Adrienne patted the sofa next to her but watched as her friend just shook her head. 

“I can’t Addy, I’m too freaked out to sit still.” Stephanie ran through the songs in her head once again. She knew them, they were a part of her, but it helped to calm her down and keep her focused. 

“You’re going to bring the house to their feet Steph, blow them out of the water. I know that you will be absolutely amazing.”

Stephanie laughed, “You are really good for my ego Addy.” The pacing continued, only stopping when the stagehand stuck his head into the room, telling her that she was on in 15 minutes. 

 

Matthew entered the large nightclub. He glanced around him at the mass of people that crowded every available space. His friend Paget Brewster stood next to him, her hand reaching out and gripping his arm. He glanced over at her and watched as she nodded towards the bar.

“Let’s go and get a drink, it might help to calm you down a little bit.”

He nodded and followed her in that direction. After procuring their adult beverages, they skirted the rim of the club to find an empty spot where they would have a view of the stage. Just as they found an empty table, the MC came out on the stage, announcing that the next act was, in fact, Stephanie. Matthew’s heart started to pound in his chest. He wasn’t sure he was ready to hear what she had to say, but he knew that he needed to hear it. He had really grown to enjoy their daily conversations, albeit short and sweet, but he had told that her that he wanted to take things one small step at a time and she had been willing to abide by his wishes. Being here, waiting to hear such a personal song, felt like a huge leap forward and that made him nervous. He knew, and he guessed that she now knew, that he’d never completely gotten over her, despite what he might have said. 

He watched as she stepped out on stage. 

 

Stephanie took two deep breaths, letting them out slowly, calming her overactive nerves. She moved forward, stepping out onto the stage.  The lights were bright and they hindered her ability to see the faces in the crowd.  She had asked a couple of the studio's musicians to play with her and not being on stage alone helped boost her confidence.  

She managed to make it through ‘Learned My Lesson’ without breaking but she knew she'd have an even more difficult time with her next song. 

**_I open my lungs_ ** **_  
_ ** **_To breathe in forgiveness and love_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Haunting me now, reminders of how I used to be_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I know down the road_ ** **_  
_ ** **_My troubles are sure to follow_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Looking out the window_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hell if I know where I will go_ ** **_  
_ ** **_So I will just keep on driving_ ** **_  
_ **

The flashes of her drive from Nashville across the immense expanse of the country played through her mind. All of the emotions she had felt then and during the creation of this song began to bubble up inside of her.  The freedom that she now felt, away from the disaster that was her former life, just added to the overwhelming feelings that were driving the song. 

**_On my way to L.A._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Looking into the rear view_ ** **_  
_ ** **_As the roads fade away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Sworn off my past_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The first and last bad call that I ever made_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tell me how to make right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Every wrong turn I've learn_ ** **_  
_ ** **_That this can all end tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tennessee line just changed my mind_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_It's my heart I'll follow this time_

This song had been her way of healing and her way of apologizing to Matthew for everything she had put him through. She regretted the direction she had taken back then but was trying to rectify and erase it now.  She wanted him in her life for the long haul and she hoped that one day she'd have the nerve to play this for him.    
  
**_Who would've known_ ** **_  
_ ** **_That pride is so hard to swallow_ ** **_  
_ ** **_As I rest on the shoulder of a road_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Growing colder, with the trouble on I own_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Should I just keep on driving_ **   


Matthew stood up. He could no longer stay still. The first song had been tough to sit through but this song, this song was an obvious apology and he wasn’t sure how to feel. He started to fidget, causing a look of disdain from Paget to be shot in his direction. He ignored it, and continued to shift back on forth on his feet. He was feeling more awkward and the desire to leave was pulling at him, harder and harder. He glanced over at his friend and noticed that she was watching him closely. He shrugged his shoulders and his hands went to his hips. 

**_On my way to L.A._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Looking into the rear view_ ** **_  
_ ** **_As the roads fade away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Sworn off my past_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The first and last bad call that I ever made_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tell me how to make right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Every wrong turn I've learned_ ** **_  
_ ** **_That this can all end tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tennessee line just changed my mind_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_It's my heart I'll follow this time_

Paget reached across the table and brushed her fingers against his arm. He turned his head, his eyes meeting hers. She mouthed, ‘are you okay’ and waited patiently for a response. She wasn’t sure how to interpret what she was witnessing in him. She’d never seen him quite like this before and she wasn’t sure if he was so uncomfortable because the words that hung in the air were digging up too many awful memories, or if it was because he was starting to feel things for this woman that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. She watched as he nodded his head and then proceeded to wring his fingers. He was never one who sat still easily, but this was...well this was different. She pushed forward in her seat, preparing to stand when he put his hand up, stopping her quickly. He looked at her, his eyes full of an apology, then turned and pushed his way through the crowd. Paget momentarily considered following him, but something told her that he needed this moment to himself.    
  
**_I know I must be doing something right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Head the other way back to where I started out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ask myself if I can turn it all around tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And stop living with doubt_ **   


Adrienne emerged from backstage and scanned the crowed. Her eyes landed on the familiar head of Paget’s. She smiled and weaved her way through the trong of bodies. 

“Hey,” She shouted over the music, leaning in and kissing both cheeks of her friend. 

They sat together as Stephanie came to the end, the last few chords hanging in the air as the crowd quieted, in awe of the raw emotion being portrayed on the stage. The music ceased, and within seconds, a loud, roaring applause erupted. Adrienne and Paget clapped along with everyone, whistling and shouting out words of praise. They watched as Stephanie half-bowed, exiting the stage with poise and grace, that of a seasoned performer. Adrienne was so proud of her. 

“That was amazing,” Paget brought Adrienne back into reality.

She nodded, “Yes, yes it was. I didn’t know that you were coming tonight. Are you here with your husband?”

“No, I came with a friend, he was asked to be here to watch her sing tonight.”

Adrienne cocked her head to the side, “Matthew Gubler? I didn’t know that you two were friends?”

“We were on Criminal Minds together for several years, you knew that,” Paget laughed.

Adrienne rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten that. Where is he?”

Paget glanced down at the floor, her next words quiet. “He left.”

“What do you mean he left? Did he see any of the performance?”

Paget nodded, “He did. He left a bit before you came over. I’m not sure how he was feeling but Adrienne, I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Was it good or bad?” Adrienne looked over at the stage door, waiting to see if Stephanie would emerge. 

“I wish I knew,” Paget rose to her feet. “I, however, would love to meet your friend.”

**_On my way to L.A._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Looking into the rear view_ ** **_  
_ ** **_As the roads fade away_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Sworn off my past_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The first and last bad call that I ever made_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tell me how to make right_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Every wrong turn I've learned_ ** **_  
_ ** **_That this can all end tonight_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Tennessee line just changed my mind_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_It's my heart I'll follow this time_


	8. Chapter 8

Stephanie was still on a high from the rush that had overwhelmed her after her debut the night before. She had politely declined Adrienne’s invitation to go out and celebrate, opting instead for a quiet night at home, curled up on her couch with a good movie and some cheesy pizza. She had an opened bottle of beer, her favorite fuzzy blanket, the movie all queued up and ready to watch, when the pizza guy knocked at her door. She pushed herself up off the couch and made her way towards the front door. She pulled it open, cash ready, in hand, to give to the guy but the man who appeared before her, wasn’t whom she had been expecting.

“Matthew, what...what are you doing here? Is that my pizza? Why are you carrying my pizza?” Stephanie couldn't stop the questions that came pouring out of her mouth. 

Matthew Gubler just stood in the hallway, waiting for her to stop. It became clear to him that she wasn’t going to stop soon, so he pushed past her into her living room. “Where would you like this?”

Stephanie automatically pointed at her coffee table, “How did you come to be in possession of my pizza?

“I paid the man for the pizza.” Matthew set it down, his hands now empty. He shoved them into his pockets, his feet beginning to shuffle beneath him, the realization of what he came to do, setting in. 

“So, what are you doing here? I didn’t know that you were back in town, you hadn’t mentioned anything to me about it. When did you get back?” Stephanie started spewing questions again, finally clamping her hand over her mouth to cease the line of attack.

Matthew grinned, “I came back on Thursday. I got in pretty late that night. As for why I didn’t tell you, well I thought I’d surprise you at your show on Friday.”

Stephanie narrowed her eyes, her eyebrows raising in sudden comprehension. “What? You were there last night? I didn’t see you. Oh my god, you heard my songs.” Her face started to burn, the heat slowly rising up from her neck.

Matthew nodded, “I was there, for part of it anyway. That first song, was that the one you did for Ricky Bates?”

Stephanie slowly raised her head up and down, her eyes not able to meet his. 

“That second song, that was about me as well, wasn’t it?”

Again, she nodded, not able to speak. 

“I was going to come over last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I needed to calm down and I needed to focus my thoughts and I needed to make sure that I was making the right decision. Steph, I can’t do this anymore.”

With those words, Stephanie’s head shot up and she stared at him, “What? Oh Matthew, you weren’t meant to hear those songs, at least not yet. That, that is how I’ve dealt with everything and I needed a way to organize and process everything I had been feeling, everything that I had felt, for so long. My heart, it’s out there. My emotions, they’re raw. All of this, it’s so new and scary and I...I just needed a way to think it through. I get it though, it was too much.” Stephanie slumped down against the wall, pulling her knees tight up to her chest. 

Matthew immediately knelt down beside her, “No, no that isn’t what I meant. I meant, I can’t do this platonic thing anymore. I can’t continue to have shallow conversations with you and I can’t keep pretending that all those old feelings aren't back.”

Stephanie lifted her head, her blue eyes meeting his, “So, you aren’t mad at me?”

“Oh for hell’s sake girl, no I’m not mad at you. I was freaked out, that’s all. It was a lot to take in and I wasn’t quite ready to hear it. Did you come to LA because of me?”

Stephanie shook her head, “Not, not entirely. I was hoping that being near Vegas again would give me the opportunity to see you but I wasn’t sure where you were at. Last I had heard, you were still in New York, so when I saw your TV show my first night in town, imagine my shock. Yet, it was a pleasant surprise. I could have picked several different cities to start over in, but I had a feeling that LA would somehow bring me back to that happiness that I once felt.”

“Steph, I’m not going to pretend and tell you that this is going to be easy. It will take time before I will be able to fully trust you….”

“Matthew, I will do…”

“Let me get this out, please? You broke me and I thought I had long ago buried those feelings, but I should have known that I wouldn’t have been able to truly get over you. I guess I figured I’d never see you again and that made ignoring those feelings, keeping them buried deep, that much easier to do. I want to take you out on a date, I want to see where this goes.”

Stephanie nodded her head, afraid to speak, afraid that everything he was saying would be taken away from her. 

Matthew stood and reached down towards her, his hands extended in front of him, offering their assistance to her. She grabbed a hold of them and he pulled her up to her feet. 

“I have pizza and a movie, would you like to stay?” Stephanie gestured behind him and Matthew’s head turned, his line of sight following where he was pointing. 

A smile doned his face, “I think having our date now is a brilliant idea.”

 

They ate and watched the movie in awkward silence. They used to have evenings like this all the time, but that was so many years ago. Stephanie was still having trouble processing the fact that he wanted to take their newly budding friendship and turn it into a newly budding relationship. This is what she had wanted but now that it was staring her in the face, she was scared...really scared. Stephanie fiddled with the beer bottle in her hand, trying to concentrate on the movie, but kept sneaking glances in his direction. Sitting on the couch, in the dark, a foot away from the man she once loved, was throwing her senses into freak out overdrive. She couldn’t sit still, she couldn’t form a coherent thought, and she couldn’t fucking focus. He must have noticed her fidgeting because she saw him, out of the corner of her eye, lean forward and grab the remote control.  

Matthew paused the movie and turned towards the girl sitting next to him, “Can I ask you a question?”

Stephanie couldn’t quite look at him, so she just nodded her head.

“What do you want?” It came out more blunt than he had meant for it to and the words hung in the air.

Stephanie’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Shit, that came out wrong. I meant, what do you want out of this, out of me? You’ve been very quiet since I called you.” Matthew watched as Stephanie’s eyes began to narrow, “I mean...well, after you told me your side, you’ve just gone along with everything I’ve asked.”

Her shoulders relaxed a little, “I didn’t give you a choice at all the first time and now, I don't want to repeat my mistakes.”

“Okay, so to answer the other part, what do you want?”

Her voice was meek, “The boy back.”

“Steph, that boy is gone.”

She shook her head, “I don’t believe you. That boy, he is the essence of who you are and that wouldn’t have changed.”

“That boy was broken, and badly, and I left him behind. Steph, I grew up, I’m not the same guy I was then.”

She shook her head again, “I know that I’m responsible for breaking him, for breaking you but I know who you are at the core Matthew, and you are still the same amazing person I loved once. You are still the same person that made me believe that anything is possible.”

Matthew reached towards her, pushing the strands of hair that had fallen forward, behind her shoulder. His hand lingered there for a moment, gripping ever so slightly, before slowly sliding down, over her bicep, beneath her elbow, stopping at her fingers. He held them in his hand, pulling them towards him. He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing each one of her fingers lightly. He then laced his own fingers with hers, and tugged, bringing her body closer to him. With his free hand he took a hold of her chin, turning her head so that she was forced to look at him, “How can you still have so much belief in me?”

Stephanie couldn’t tear her eyes away from his face and her heart was beating against her chest. He moved, his head titled to the side and Stephanie held her breath. She hadn’t kissed this man in over 15 years, but she yearned for it. His lips met hers and she immediately melted into him. 

He pulled away from her, his eyes still closed. He could hear her breathing pick back up and he was met with a tranquil look when he opened his eyes. “Steph, I want you to know that we can’t go back into the past, we have to start fresh. We are both different people and we have to get to know who we are now. Are you okay with that? Is that what you want?”

She took a deep breath, and searched his hazel eyes, “I just want to be with you, so yes, I’m okay with that.”

He smiled, “Should we finish our movie?”

“Have you really forgiven me,” Stephanie asked.

Matthew was silent for a moment, but didn’t break her gaze. He slowly nodded his head, “I wasn’t sure I would be able to, but I’m not entirely sure now that I was ever that angry to begin with, I think I was hurt. I’ve moved on from the hurt and so, yes, I’ve forgiven you.”

Her smile grew and she brushed a light kiss on his cheek, “Let’s finish our movie.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Wait, are you seriously telling me that you want me to record an EP?” Stephanie sat at the glass table in her bosses conference room. Adrienne was seated across from her, and their boss Terry.

“That’s exactly what we’re saying. Since your debut at The Lexington, they have had several inquiries into who you are and whether or not you’ve been signed to a label. Adrienne and I have discussed in length whether or not this would be an opportunity we should offer to you, and we have come to the conclusion that we would like to offer you a deal with Freedom 16, as an artist.”

Stephanie looked from one face to the other, the magnitude of what they were offering, weighing on her. She kept going back and forth in her mind. It wasn’t want she had set out to accomplish, but a singing career had basically landed square into her lap and would she regret it if she passed it up. She closed her eyes, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to stare at the two sitting in front of her. “Okay, okay, let’s do this”

Adrienne clapped her hands and slide a contract over to her, “Just sign all the flagged places.”

Stephanie signed several different locations and then pushed the papers back to her boss and friend. 

“We are allowing you to have complete creative control. We already know how talented of a writer that you are, so now is your chance to show us how talented of an all around artist that you are. Take a handful of weeks and get together 4 or 5 songs and then we shall tackle the next step. Once again Stephanie, welcome to Freedom 16 Records.” Terry stood and offered his hand to her.  

She shook it vigorously, the cogs in her head already turning with the new songs she needed to create.  Once she had left Terry’s office, she headed to the other side of the building, to where her small quarters were located.  Once inside, she pulled out her cell phone and shot off a text to Matthew…

**Stephanie: You will never believe what just happened to me!**

She set the phone down on her desk, and pulled out her notepad.  She already had a song forming and she wanted to get the lyrics jotted down before she lost them. 

She had been lost in her own little world for well over an hour, but the vibration of her cell phone across her desk pulled her back into reality. She picked the phone up and pressed the green button, “Hey.” She couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on her face. 

“So what is this thing that happened,” Matthew’s voice sent shivers up her spine.

She proceeded to repeat the happenings of the hours preceding this moment. She and Matthew had been dating, yes dating, for the last few weeks. Things were moving along slowly, but she was letting him dictate the pace. He was attentive though, and made a huge effort in getting to know who she was now.

“Wow, that’s awesome Steph. How are you feeling about it?”

She scrunched up her nose, “I was hesitant at first, but I think that this is a step that I need to take. I’d be kicking myself later if I didn’t give it a try.”

“You are more than talented enough and I think that people are right in wanting to hear more. I’m very impressed that you’ve gotten that kind of response and that you’re still getting that level of response. Honestly, I’d really like to hear both songs again.”

Stephanie quickly pulled in air, “Really?”

“Yeah. Speaking of things to regret, I kind of kick myself for taking off that night.”

Stephanie laughed, “If you hadn’t, I don’t think that things would have turned out quite as amazing as they did. Things happen for a reason and well, we’re getting that second chance for a reason.”

“On that note, I’m taking you to dinner tonight.  I’ll pick you up at 7. I have to run, I’m being called to the set. Congratulations Steph, I’m really proud of you.” 

They said their good-bye’s and Stephanie hung up the phone. She was truly thankful that Matthew had given her another chance and truthfully, she was happy, the happiest she had been in a very long time.

 

Stephanie leaned back against the wicker couch she was currently occupying. She tilted her head back, allowing the sun to warm her face. She turned towards the man sitting next to her and giggled as she hooked her leg over this thigh. His head turned, his eyes looking at her, the sun glinting off his hazel orbs. 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Matthew set his sketch book aside, his hand returning to rest on her knee, his thumb stroking the bare skin. 

“Not really. I’ve been in the studio doing vocals before but I guess I am bit nervous about playing all of the instruments for two of the tracks.”

Matthew’s hand slowly slid up her leg, “Why are you nervous about that?”

Stephanie’s gaze stayed on his hand, the small movement causing the butterflies to spring to life. “Because, if I screw up, it’s all on me and that’s a big responsibility.” She closed her eyes, the sun on her face, his hand on her leg, his body near hers, she didn’t want this moment to end. “Can we just freeze everything like this, not ever let it end?” She hadn’t realized that she had said the words out loud, but at the sound of his light chuckle, her eyes sprung open.

“We may not be able to do that, but I do think we need a few more days free to enjoy the freakishly warm fall that we’re having..” Suddenly he sat up straighter, the smile on his face turning into a cheesy grin, “But, Halloween is right around the corner, and it’s our first one together in years. I’ve come up with quite the costumes.”

“Costumes,” She questioned, a twinkle in her eye.

“Of course! You owe me the embarrassment of matching costumes.” He settled back down, his hand resuming its journey up her leg. 

“Just promise that you won’t make me too slutty or too foolish,” Stephanie reached down and placed her hand on his, “If that hand gets any higher, we’ll be starting something I’m not sure I’m ready to take on with you yet.”

He looked down at their hands together, flipping his over so their fingers could lock together, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize I was doing that.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Sure Gubler, sure!” The moment grew quiet and Stephanie could see Matthew chewing on his lip, “Spit it out. What are you thinking about?”

“Howlonghasitbeen?” 

The words tumbled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess and it took her a second to decipher them. “How long has it been since what?”

Matthew closed his eyes, running a hand through his messed up hair, “Since you’ve had sex?”

Stephanie looked at him, contemplating how much she should tell him but deciding that it would be best to be an open book. “It’s been awhile.”

“Just awhile?”

She sighed, “It’s been five years.” She winced at his sharp intake and tried to pull her hand from his.

He squeezed his fingers around her tighter, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound surprised but I guess, I guess I am a little bit. How...I mean why. Why has it been so long?”

She lolled her head to the side and shut her eyes, “I was married to man who didn’t want me.” A single tear slide down her cheek and she hastily brushed it away. 

Matthew watched her carefully, picking his next words with caution, “See, that I don’t understand. Was it because he was sleeping with other women?”

She nodded her head slowly, “I think that he blamed me for his misery. I believe it was his way of punishing me. I don’t believe that he ever wanted to be married, so he acted like he wasn’t.”

“Then why marry you to begin with? I apologize for prying but I just want to understand. Had he not married you, then you could have come back home.” 

“There are a lot of coulda shoulda wouldas Matthew and I don’t have answers for you. I have regrets and ‘I wishes’, I have loneliness and sadness, but I can’t change the decisions that I made.”

“So what you’re telling me, is that you haven’t slept with a man in five years?”

She rolled her eyes at him, “No, what I’m telling you is that I haven’t had sex in five years. I’ve slept with a man, we just didn’t touch one another. In fact, I usually placed pillows between our bodies.”

“Why didn’t you leave him sooner,” Matthew scooted his body closer to her, placing his arm protectively around her shoulders.  

“I don’t know,” She shrugged. “I have asked myself that same question many times but the only answer I can come up with is… I wanted a family.”

He leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, “You could have had that with anyone.”

She sighed, “I know. Every time I would consider leaving him, I would get pregnant and he’d be happy, we’d both be happy, but then disaster would strike and he’d spiral out of control again. He would come back to his senses a couple months later and we’d be alright again for a time. It was a nasty, vicious cycle and I just couldn’t seem to get myself out of it. Pretty much the last time he touched me was the last time I told him I was pregnant.”

Matthew didn’t know what to say, so he wrapped both of his arms around her, pulling her into him, wanting to protect her. 

She nestled into him, “Matthew?”

“Hmmm,” He brought her a little bit closer.

“Can I stay here for the night, with you,” Her voice was quiet.

His heartbeat quickened at her words.

She slapped his arm lightly. “Not like that,” She laughed, “I just don’t want to go home and I’d rather spend as much time with you as I can.”

“Do you promise not to put pillows in between us?” Matthew laughed as she pulled away to look at him. 

She shook her head, “Only if you promise that we can cuddle?”

“Well duh, I thought that cuddling was a given. ” He peppered her face with kisses. Her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, behind her ears, her neck, before pressing his lips to hers. 

The kiss intensified, and Stephanie slowly slide down so that she was lying on the couch, Matthew’s body propped up carefully on top of hers. Her leg, the one which hung over the edge of the couch, wrapped up and around his legs, pulling him even closer. One of her hands gripped his hair, the other found its way up the back of his shirt, her palm pressed flat into his flesh. 

Her body was on fire. Her body craved his and the heat that was passing between them was pushing this makeout session into a territory that neither one of them was ready to explore, not with one another, not yet. 

She extracted her hand from beneath his clothing and brought it up to his chest. She placed it flat against his body and pushed, gently. 

Matthew laughed, kissing her on the nose before carefully clamoring to his feet. He grabbed her hands and helped her to her feet. “Are you hungry, cause I could eat.” 


	10. Chapter 10

“It still isn’t right,” Stephanie fiddled with one of the knobs, listening closely to the sound of her voice on the track.

“What are you talking about? It sounds good. It sounds as good as the last five times. What sounds off to you?” Adrienne sighed as she watched Stephanie stare at the computer screen’s squiggly lines.

“I’m not sure. It could be my vocals, but it sounds like the lead guitar. Maybe I should play that bit again. Did you hear that? It’s like 10 seconds long, but it throws off the rest of the song.” 

Adrienne rolled her eyes, “Seriously? You’re freaking out over 10 seconds of track? Steph, we’ve been at this for a month, a month, and you’ve only managed to records two songs. How are you ever going to get this done if each one has to be redone over and over again because it doesn’t meet your standards? It’s an EP for christ’s sake, it isn’t supposed to be perfect.” 

Stephanie was about to reply when a soft knocking came from the door to the studio. Both girls turned in the sound’s direction, Matthew’s face was visible, framed in the glass.

Stephanie smiled and motioned for him to come in, “Hey!” 

“Matthew will you tell her that her track sounds fine? Here,” She stood, pushing her chair towards him. “Steph, play him the song, let him be the deciding factor.”

“He’s heard the song,” Stephanie protested. “I’m just going to record the last part then I will call it finished.”

“When did I hear the song?” Matthew spoke for the first time.

Stephanie and Adrienne both looked at him, Adrienne speaking first, “At The Lexington, remember?”

Matthew shook his head, “I left early.”

“Oh shit, I forgot,” Adrienne reached for the door handle. “Steph, play him the song,” The door shut quietly behind her.

“I’d love to hear it,” Matthew sat down, rolling the chair over next to Stephanie.

She shook her head, “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because it’s the song that you left during,” She queued it back to the beginning.

“I know, but it’s been a couple months Steph, I think I’m more than ready to hear it.”

She shrugged her shoulders and started the track, her voice filling the small space once again. She sat in silence, gauging his reaction. His face was void of emotion, a blank slate and the longer the song played, the more nervous she got.  As the last chords fizzled out, she sat back in her seat, allowing it to rock back and forth, “Well?”

“I think that it sounded fantastic,” Matthew looked over at her. “What aren’t you liking about it?”

“Ugh, apparently it’s just me being overly picky. I guess Adrienne was right, it’s ready to go. So that would be two tracks down. So, I love that you came to visit me, but how come you’re here?”

“I drove by your place and didn’t see your car, I figured that you were putting in some late hours here.” He grew quiet for a moment, his voice soft when he spoke, “Steph…” He waited for her to look at him again, “Thank you for that song. Hearing it the first time made me realize that I wanted to be with you and hearing it again made me realize that I made the right decision.”

She wheeled closer to him, “Hmmm, if that wasn’t so sweet, I’d say that it was downright cheesy.” She leaned over and kissed him, “I’ve had enough of this place for the day, want to take me out.” She mumbled against his lips.

He smiled, standing up and pulling her with him, “If you promise you’ll stay over tonight.”

“Oh god, what have I started?” She giggled, grabbing her purse as they headed out the door.

 

“So The Lexington is going to release the live version of ‘Tennessee Line’ to the radio so that it will give the EP some free promotion.” Stephanie swiveled in her chair, “That smells so good.”

Matthew stirred the contents of the pan, “Are you okay with them putting out the live performance?”

She shrugged, “I don’t really have too much of a say. I mean, I could throw a fit about it but I think that the live version will offer something that the studio version doesn’t.”

“Which would be, what?” 

“More emotion,” She stopped moving her chair and leaned her elbows on the counter. “I apparently portray more emotion when I’m singing for an audience then I do when I’m stuck behind the glass.”

“I can vouch for that,” Matthew held out the spoon towards her, “Try this.”

“Yummmm,” Stephanie moaned, the deliciousness hitting her tastebuds just right. “How come I never knew you could cook?”

“Well I wasn’t much of a chef at 18,” He chuckled, “I’ve picked up a few skills living by myself.”

“Can we put those skills to good use and help me come up with a title for my album,” Stephanie spun the barstool, giggling at the sensation. 

Matthew rolled his eyes and laughed, “What are you doing? Doesn’t your marketing team come up with things like that?”

“Whoa,” Stephanie halted her spinning, “That wasn’t smart. Apparently I am the marketing team. The room is spinning.” She grabbed her head, holding it still, “Please don’t let me do that again.”

He snickered, “Don’t spin the chair again! So, the whole album is songs about your past and your future and the journey that has taken you from point A to point B, right?”

Stephanie nodded, “Yep, that about sums it up.”

“You played Tennessee Line for me, didn’t you?”

“Yes, that’s the one I played for you last week.”

“Okay…. Well you went from Nashville to LA, so maybe something like Tennessee Line to The Bright LA Lights?”

Stephanie tilted her head to the side, chewing over his words, “Tennessee Line to LA Lights.”

Matthew smiled and set a plate of steaming food in front of her, “I like it.”

“Sums up my journey quite well, doesn’t it? You are brilliant and handsome…” Stephanie picked up her fork, digging in and taking a large bite, “And you can cook! I think I’ve won the lottery here.”

Stephanie failed to notice Matthew’s cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. 

 

The two of them had grown into quite the routine. They spent as much time together as their schedules would allow, which didn’t seem like much, but they made it work. Stephanie would spend some of her writing days on the set of his show, garnering inspiration for the lyrics she was still being paid to create for others. On the days where she would be coped up late in the studio, he’d bring her dinner and would sit and listen to her pick apart every last detail of her songs. He’d try to convince her that it was perfect, that nothing needed to be changed. They would argue playfully and end up making out on the couch that lined the back wall, forgetting about the work that stood between her and a finished EP. She didn’t care though. She was making progress on it, albeit slowly, but she wanted...no she needed to enjoy each moment. She wasn’t going to make the same mistakes but she also needed to realize that Matthew wasn’t Dustin and she couldn’t treat the two as equals. She was putting the finishing touches on what was supposed to be the second to last song, when Matthew waltzed in, coffee in hand and a smile on his pretty face.

“It’s late beautiful, I thought you could use a little pick me up.” He offered her the hot beverage.

She accepted it gladly, “I just like seeing your face but the coffee is a nice bonus.” She slide the chair next to her out, he plopped down into it.

“How is it coming along?” He took a slow sip, waiting for her to respond.

She shrugged, “If I can get through the last half of this song without wanting to change anything, we should be good.  Oh, you didn’t happen to hear my song on the radio today, did you?”

Matthew nearly choked on his drink, “What are you talking about?”

“Did I not tell you,” She grinned at him. “The Lexington released the live version of my song last week and apparently it is getting quite the amount of air play. Also, Adrienne tells me that the reaction to it has been super positive. It also slipped my mind to mention that I had my first radio interview this afternoon.” She chewed on her bottom lip, waiting for how he’d take the news.

“You did an interview and didn’t tell me? Why?” He placed his coffee on the ledge in front of him.

She grabbed his hand, “I was nervous, super nervous and for whatever reason, I was less nervous knowing you weren’t listening. I didn’t want you to hear me screw up my first big interview.”

“Steph, by now you should know that I would be proud of you no matter what...that I am proud of you.” He linked their fingers together, pulling her towards him, their chairs rolling together.

“I will make sure to tell you about the second one. Matthew, I can’t believe that this is happening to me, it is so surreal.”

“And you deserve every single one of those moments. You’ve worked hard for this and I know that people are going to love what you have created just as much as they love you.” He leaned into her, his lips capturing hers. 

Their makeout session was interrupted by the loud blaring of her ringing phone, “Ugh,” She pulled away from Matthew and glanced at her phone. Her eyebrows furrowed and she reached for it, “Hello.”

She was quiet while she listened to the speaker on the other end and Matthew grew increasingly concerned as he carefully watched her facial expressions. His worry turned to fear as the color drained from her face and the phone she had been holding slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor. 

“Stephanie, baby, what is wrong?” He kneeled down in front of her, his hands grasping her face.

She opened and closed her mouth several times before words finally escaped, “He found me. Dustin...I’m not sure how he found me but he’s in LA and he wants half of everything I have, including future royalty profits or he won’t divorce me.”

Matthew’s heart sank and he enveloped her into a hug, trying to protect her from forces he couldn’t control. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

“So what are my options?” Stephanie sat across the conference table from Roger, her lawyer, tapping her foot impatiently. 

He sighed and shuffled the papers in front of him, “Mrs. Wright, we have gone over your options; you can either give into his demands and sign over 50% of everything you own, including future royalties or you can take him to court.”

“But if I take him to court, wouldn’t he just get arrested due to the warrant?” Stephanie leaned forward.

Roger nodded his head, “That would be the major risk you would have to take. The court would be lawfully responsible to report the warrant and have him arrested. He would then be sent back to Nashville and more than likely incarcerated and would be under no obligation to sign the divorce papers.”

“This isn’t fair! I have taken care of this man for fifteen plus years and he just pops up when things are really starting to go my way and demands to take what I have earned. There has to be a way to stop him.”

“Mrs. Wright, as hard as this is for you to hear, you might want to consider just giving into his demands, or at least we can try to set up a meeting and give him a counter offer.” Roger leaned back in his chair, the pen in his hand twirling between his fingers.

Stephanie shook her head, “I don’t want to give in to his demands.”

“If you don’t, there is no guarantee that you will be able to get the divorce that you want. He does not have to sign the paperwork and under divorce law, Tennessee is an equitable distribution state, so they would give Dustin what they deem to be fair.”

“Well shit, fair would be nothing,” Stephanie was starting to get very angry. 

“Mrs. Wright, I understand that this is difficult but we must try and keep a cool head about all of this. Let me see if I can get a hold of him and we can arrange a meeting.”

“Would he agree to meet with us, considering the warrant out for his arrest?” Stephanie tapped her fingers against the glass table top.

Roger shrugged his shoulders, “Well, I’m not entirely sure. I have tried on several occasions to reach him at the number he called me at but he has yet to return any of my messages. Also, I have a contact down at the LAPD and I had them trace the number. It is a pre-paid cell, paid for with cash. So, at the moment, we have to wait until he contacts me again, but I will do what I can.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “I have a lot to think about then. Please, call me as soon as you hear from here again.”

 

Over the course of several weeks, Stephanie and Roger had many conversations with Dustin. Unfortunately, none of them were in person and the majority of them were done through messages. Dustin held his ground, refusing to take any sort of compromise that they offered. He would only repeat himself and tell him that it was 50% or there would be no signing. Stephanie was getting so frustrated and the longer that this dragged on, the more tempted she was to take the offer.  She wasn’t getting much help from  the people in her life either. Adrienne told her to take the offer, stating it was better to have him out of her life than to keep fighting him over something as trivial as money. Stephanie would argue that money wasn’t trivial but Adrianne would counter with the fact that they would figure it out and money wasn’t everything. Matthew, on the other hand, was telling her to fight him for what was fair and that she shouldn’t allow him to bully her the way he was trying. 

She was sitting on her living room floor, her notebook in front of her, pencil in hand, and not a single thing written on the paper. She groaned, this whole thing with Dustin was giving her writer’s block. She needed to make a decision and she needed to make it soon. She had deadlines and an album to finish up and Dustin was hindering her progress. Her phone sang out, glancing down to see that it was her lawyer, she picked it up.

“Please tell me that you have good news,” Stephanie stretched her legs out.

“Are you able to do a conference call,” Roger asked matter-of-factly.

“Yes,” Stephanie pulled her legs back in, her stomach started to knot.

Roger patched her through, “Stephanie, I have Dustin on the line. He is finally willing to have a discussion around the divorce agreement.”

“What agreement? We haven’t reached an agreement yet.” Stephanie started off defensively.

“Mrs. Wright, please allow Mr. Wright to speak,” Roger stayed professional.

“Stephanie I don’t understand what the problem here is? I am only asking for what is fair.”

She bit the inside of her lip, “Dustin, why do you feel that this is fair? I am the one that supported you for fifteen years, if anything, you owe me.”

“Stephanie, you want something that only I can give you and because of that, you should be more than willing to give me the fifty percent.”

“Dustin, this is ridiculous. We aren’t in love, we haven’t been in love for several years, I’m not sure we ever were, why would you keep me in a marriage that I don’t, that neither of us want to be in?”

“I have no problem staying married to you,” Dustin sounded smug, even over the phone.

“That is stupid,” Stephanie was starting to get emotional. 

“Well, I’m not the one fucking some guy. I’m not the one with something to lose.”

“Ugh,” She shouted.

Dustin chuckled, “Just sign the paperwork Stephanie and all of this will be over. You’ll be rid of me the way you want and you’ll be able to be with your pathetic boyfriend.”

Stephanie rubbed at her temple, “Dustin, there is no need for that.”

“You were smarter back when we were kids Steph. You had gumption and a sense of adventure. Isn’t that why you took off with me? You wanted what I had to offer. If you had wanted to stay with Matthew, you would have, but you didn’t. Now, I want my fifty percent.”

Stephanie brushed angry tears away, “Fine. I will sign.” She hung up the phone. She hated him but at the same time, he had a point. She had run off with him because he gave her what she had wanted at the time and she was beginning to doubt, once again, that she was good enough to be with Matthew. Her phone buzzed again and seeing Matthew’s face flash across the screen only made her cry more. She placed the phone back down on the ground, pushing herself up off the floor. She walked back into her bedroom and into her closest. She reached up onto the top shelf and pulled down an old shoebox.  Inside, hundreds of pictures lay dormant, pictures that she hadn’t looked at in ages. She flipped through them. They were comprised of several pictures from her childhood, but the majority of them were from her years with Dustin. She picked up a stack from their earlier years together, the time when she had clung to him and his carefree attitude. He had been right, she had voluntarily left Matthew. Dustin had been what she had needed, no, he had been what she had wanted at that point in her life and no matter how she tried to work it in her mind, she had chosen Dustin. The tears were blurring her vision, but she dug deeper into the box. She pushed pictures aside until she found pictures from their first few years of marriage. Even then, she could have left, she could have walked away. No one forced her to marry Dustin, she had chosen that for herself. Matthew had been right, she could have gone back to Vegas at any time, but she had stayed in Nashville.  Maybe Dustin didn’t deserve the 50% he wanted, but neither did she deserve to be with Matthew. She knew, deep down, she knew that Matthew would be so much happier without and her husband baggage. 

She could hear the phone continually ringing in the other room and every time it played out, her heart broke that much more. She needed to keep Matthew at arm’s length. She needed him to see that his life was better without her in it. She didn’t want to hurt him again, but she didn’t want him hurting her and she feared that he would soon walk away from her. He didn’t need to be dragged into her messy divorce and frankly, she didn’t want him too. 

The phone wouldn’t stop, so she set the box down and walked back into her living room. She picked up the phone, trying to hold back the tears, she answered, “Hey.”

“Are you okay? You always pick up,” Matthew sounded panicky.

“I’m fine,” She curtly retorted.

“Steph, what’s going on?” 

“Nothing.”

Matthew sighed, “Don’t do this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Matthew.”

“I’m sure that you’re thinking that I’d be better off without you and your baggage, but you’d be wrong Stephanie.”

The tears picked up speed, “Matthew, I can’t do this. You do deserve better than me, you deserve so much better and I was wrong in thinking otherwise.”

“That is for me to decide. Don’t start making life decisions for me again Stephanie. I want to be with you, I’ve always wanted to be with you.”

“I’m not the same person Matthew. I thought I could be, I really wanted to be but I’m just the girl that ran away from her problems, ran away from you.”

“We can’t keep having this conversation. I’m not going anywhere Steph, no matter how hard you push, I’m not budging.”

“I have to go Matthew,” She choked on her tears, “Just know that I care about you and I will always care about you. I just want you to be happy,” She ended the call before he could say anything. Her brain and her heart were arguing, heavily and she wasn’t sure which one to listen to. She needed clarity and she needed closure and she needed to focus on what was important, her songwriting and her singing, that would get her through this. 


	12. Chapter 12

Her name and address donned the front of the envelope in his loopy handwriting. He had tried to get a hold of her but she had managed to evade every attempt. She had thrown herself into her work, and was near completion of her EP. She was not-so patiently waiting for her lawyer to get back to her with the divorce paperwork that she needed to sign. 

She caught the edge of the flap, running her finger along it, ripping the paper open. She extracted the light blue folded piece of stationery and held it carefully in her hand. Did she want to know what this said? Was she even ready to know what this said? She did smile a little at the thought that he had taken the time to write her a letter. There weren’t many people that would send a handwritten letter just to get through to someone. Okay, he had earned this moment and she folded the paper back, revealing what it had to say…

_ Steph, _

_ I’m not sure how many different ways that I can tell you how much I care about you and how I won’t be going anywhere. I didn’t go into this relationship lightly and I won’t be pushed out of it with any amount of force. Stephanie, I could go on and on with my own words, words that I could only hope would get through that stubborn head of yours and reach your heart, but I have decided to try a different approach. You are an artist, and a beautiful one at that, so I will attempt to reach you at your level, communicate in a way that I hope will make an impact, an impression so deep that you'll come back to me.  It’s not my best work, but it is from my soul…. _

_ Shadows fill an empty heart _

_ As love is fading, from all the things that we are _

_ Are not saying, can we see beyond the scars _

_ And make it to the dawn? _

_ Change the colors of the sky _

_ And open up to, the ways you made me feel alive _

_ The ways I loved you _

_ For all the things that never died _

_ To make it through the night, love will find you _

 

_ The sun is breaking in your eyes _

_ To start a new day _

_ This broken heart can still survive _

_ With a touch of your grace _

_ Shadows fade into the light _

_ I am by your side, where love will find you _

 

_ Now that we're here _

_ Now that we've come this far, just hold on _

_ There is nothing to fear _

_ For I am right beside you _

_ For all my life, I am yours _

 

_ What about now? What about today? _

_ What if you're making me all that I was meant to be? _

_ What if our love had never went away? _

_ What if it's lost behind words we could never find? _

_ What about now? What about today? _

_ What if you're making me all that I was meant to be? _

_ What if our love had never went away? _

_ What if it's lost behind words we could never find? _

_ Baby, before it's too late, what about now? _

 

_ Yours always, _

_ Matthew _

Her heart swelled with pride. He had written her a song and she smiled and laughed at the same time over the genuineness of it all. She was an idiot. Grabbing her car keys, she shoved the letter in her purse and headed out towards her car. The drive across town to his house seemed to take longer than normal and her stomach twirled and swirled with the bevy of activity. She was nervous but then anytime one must humble themselves, it was usually accompanied by a whole slew of nerves.  She pulled into his driveway, punching in the code to his gate and letting herself onto his property. The lights were on in the front rooms, but she wasn’t entirely sure that he was home. She parked her car and walked up to the massive door that led into his home. She took a couple deep breaths and read the letter once more, gaining courage from it to ring the doorbell. She paced on his front stoop, soon convincing herself that he wasn’t home. She spun on her heel and headed back to her car, only getting a couple steps in before his front door flew open. She turned back around, his profile back-lit in the doorway.

“Matthew,” Her arms hung at her sides, the letter still clutched between her fingers.

He opened his arms and she ran to him. He enveloped her, his warmth making her feel safe and secure. 

“I’m so sorry Matthew,” She sobbed into his shoulder, the feel of his arms tightening around her only making the sobbing increase. He rubbed her back, “Steph, it’s okay. I understand why you did it, but I needed you to know that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I needed you to know that I’m in this for the long haul, I am not going to lose you again.”

She kissed the side of his neck, then his cheek, and then his lips. She missed him, every aspect of him and she pushed at him, forcing them backwards into his foyer. With her foot she kicked the door closed and continued her onslaught of kisses. His low chuckle reverberated through her body and she giggled as he returned her affection. 

 

She held her head high as she entered the law offices. She was armed with a newfound confidence and the knowledge that she wasn’t in this alone. Matthew and Adrienne were standing by her, and her mother had called, letting her know that she fully supported whatever decision she chose to make. Matthew and Adrienne both had assured her that everything would be fine, that if money became an issue, they would make it work. She was shown to a conference room where she sat down and waited. Roger entered the room shortly after and took a seat next to her. 

“You ready for this,” He pushed the contract in her direction. 

She nodded her head, placing her hands on the papers. 

They waited patiently for Dustin to show up, but after 20 minutes she was beginning to fear that he wouldn’t and they would be back to where they started. The tapped her fingernails against the tabletop, creating a rhythm to match the tune that was playing through mind. 

“Have you finished your EP yet,” Roger started making light conversation.

She shook her head slowly, “Not yet, I have one more song to record. I just finished writing the music for the lyrics this morning, it’ll be ready to hit the studio in a couple of days.”

“So you will be all ready to go by the planned launch party?”

She nodded, “Should be.” Her head shot up as she heard light footsteps on the padded hallway flooring. 

Dustin walked in and sat down opposite the two bodies. He had a smug look on his face that Stephanie immediately wanted to remove. 

“So, I’m guessing that since we are here and you agreed to not call the cops, that you’re ready to give me what I want?” Dustin leaned his chair back, balancing it precariously on two legs. 

“Mr. Wright, your wife has decided that some changes needed to be made to the agreement. We just ask that you sit and listen to what she has to say.” Roger’s copy of the divorce settlement was flipped open and nodded to Stephanie, signaling her to began.

“Dustin, this is how it’s going to be. I will not be signing the original agreement and you will not be getting fifty percent of my earnings. Roger here will show you a percentage and an amount that you will be getting, this is a one time offer, so I suggest you take it.” Stephanie looked across at Dustin, his face slowly turning red as he grew angry.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Steph, but I will walk out of here if I don’t get what I was promised. The ball is in my court here, not yours. You are the one that wants a divorce, so quit fucking with me.” 

She smirked at him, “That’s just it Dustin, the ball isn’t in your court, it’s in mine. I suggest that you take a look at the offer, I’m being extremely generous, I wanted to give you nothing.”

He crossed his arms over his chest in a stance of defiance, “No, I will not.”

“Well, then you leave me no choice but to call the LAPD.” Stephanie pulled out her phone and proceeded to dial the police department.

“Wait,” Dustin reached over and slapped the phone out of her hand, “You promised me that you wouldn’t do that.”

“I did, yes, but I also knew that I could use it as leverage. Now, this is how it’s going to go down… You are going to sign the divorce papers and accept the offer that I have so kindly bestowed you. You will also be given a cash sum and that you will taking with you as you head back to Nashville, where you will turn yourself over to the authorities for a lesser sentence. You will serve your time, and then you will walk away, completely. I will not ever hear from you again, nor will I ever see you again. If you come at me for more money, I will take you to court. I am done with this shit and I am done with you. I lived with your using me to care for you for far too long and I am done. I will not be falling for your charm and I will not be bowing down to your wishes. See, the difference between then and now, is now, I am not standing here alone. I have people backing me, every step of the way, and that has given me the courage to tell you, to your face, to fuck off!” Stephanie slid the contract over to him. She picked up a pen and held it in his direction, “Believe me Dustin, you are way better off with this deal then you would be with any other. I was never going to give you half. It was stupid of you to ask to for that much and you so underestimated my will power. I was going to have your ass thrown in prison and I was just going to wait for you to either give up and sign or until you were released where I would proceed to take your ass to court. Either way, I was going to walk away with everything and you nothing… so at least this way, you get to walk away with enough to keep you happy for a time.”

Dustin glared at her, angrily taking the pen from her hand, “This isn’t over Steph.”

“Actually Dustin, it is. This has been long over for quite some time and you really don’t want to keep dragging it out. We both need to just put the last years behind us and move on and for me, that means moving on to bigger and better things without a husband to hold me back. I left you for a reason, and look at what’s happened since I did. Just accept that and let me go.”

“Stephanie…” Dustin started.

She jumped in, “Just stop! I am done talking about this. Sign the fucking papers and walk out of here with your dignity.”

He grumbled as he signed, but to Stephanie’s relief, he signed every line. She took in a deep breath and left it out slowly, releasing all of the tension and anxiety she had kept pent up while this confrontation was happening. He pushed it back towards Roger, and slid his chair away from the table.

“Where is my cash sum?” He stood, hands on hips as he glared down at her.

“Roger’s secretary has your money,” Stephanie stood and smiled as two security officers entered the room. “Now Dustin, these two men are going to escort you from the premises and if I don’t hear, within two weeks, that you’ve turned yourself in to the Nashville police, I will revoke what you have just signed….and yes, that part is stated in the contract.” 

His eyes narrowed at her, but she just waved her fingers at him as the two burly men held both arms and led him towards the exit. 

She turned to Roger, “Thank you for helping me with that. I could never have done it without you.”

“Ms. Wright, I was happy to help. I will put a rush on this and we should have you officially divorced within a matter of a few weeks.”

She shook his hand. She could breath and she felt like she was finally free of a past that wouldn’t cease to haunt her. She smiled as she stepped out into the sunshine...now all she had to worry about was the upcoming release party and her surprise for Matthew. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

“Okay, I’m going to ask again but are you sure that it is going to make it onto the album?” Stephanie fidgeted with the knobs in front of her, adjusting the sound that flowed from the speakers.

“For the love of Pete, yes it will make it onto the album,” Adrienne huffed and slumped down into the chair next to her friend. “I swear Steph, you are the most irritating artist that I’ve ever worked with. If you weren’t my friend...”

“I only irritate you because I am your friend. If I were just some random artist, you’d be super sweet to me.” She batted her long eyelashes at Adrienne, “Now, you’re sure that…”

“If you ask me one more time if that fucking song is going to make it onto the album, I’m going to make a call and have it pulled… so stop! Also,” Addy reached into her bag and pulled out a manila envelope, “I have the album sleeve, with the song on the track listing. Is that proof enough for you?”

Stephanie took the colored piece of paper into her hands, studying it carefully as a grin grew on her face. “This is beautiful and perfect.  Thank you so much! Is everything ready for the party this weekend?”

Adrienne nodded, “Yes and before you ask, I’ve done everything in my power to make sure that Matthew doesn’t realize that the party is actually for him. Does he suspect anything?”

“Nope, not that he’s letting on to at least.”

“And, you are going to relent to whatever I have planned for your actual album release party?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “I told you that I would.”

“Good, because I have quite the shindig planned for you,” Adrienne took the album cover back from Stephanie, placing it gently into it’s protective covering. 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, there is no guarantee that anyone will want to come.”

Adrienne smiled, “This is where I tell you that several more stations have requested access to the song and from the numbers that they have sent me, the requests for your song have gone up exponentially. There is plenty of interest in your music Steph, therefore, the great need to have one hell of a release party.”

Stephanie chuckled, “You are the marketing guru, so I leave my fate in your hands my friend.”

“Well it’s about fucking time!” Adrienne pushed her chair back and stood up, “Don’t spend too long in here, the album is done and you should get some rest before the craziness hits you upside the head.”

“Thanks for the imagery, I will be be out of here soon enough.” Stephanie turned the volume up as Adrienne slipped out the door. She had played this song over and over again, it had been a last minute addition to the EP and the first time she hadn’t used her own lyrics, but the words that Matthew had written to her just needed to be turned into a song, so she had. It had taken her several tries lying down the track before she had been satisfied, but now, as she played it again, it was exactly as she had imagined it.

 

The music pulsed through the air, and Stephanie could feel the vibrations from down the street as her and Matthew approached the club.

“You realize that I know about the party, right?” Matthew reached down, taking her hand in his.

She nodded, “I figured it would be difficult to keep it a secret. I guess that’s why it’s a good thing the party isn’t the only surprise that will happen tonight.”

“You don’t need to go all out for me. You know that I’m just fine with a quiet night at home or a small gathering of friends, right?” 

“I know, but everyone deserves to be spoiled from time to time and lord knows that you spoil me all the time. I wanted to do this for you, so just shut up and pretend to be shocked.” 

Matthew laughed, holding the door open for them both as they slipped inside the darkened building. The pulsing increased in intensity and as they pushed back the heavy velvet curtain, revealing several of Matthew’s friends, the shouts of ‘surprise’ echoed above the din of the music. 

Stephanie slipped away, as the crowd that surrounded him grew. She made a beeline for the stage, weaving her way through the trong of people that occupied the large dance floor. This party was so over the top, she had to laugh at how much it wasn’t like Matthew. She needed to remind herself not to let Adrienne plan another surprise party. She reached the backstage door and slipped through it. Her tuned guitar was propped up in the corner where she was told it would be and the studio musicians were beginning to gather, getting their own instruments ready. She was going to perform two songs, one she was ready for, the other, she wasn’t quite sure. She walked up onto the stage, the curtain blocking her from the masses, and took her spot, right in the center. Her guitar was pressed into her back, and her heart pounded in her chest. This was the largest crowd, to date, that she would be standing in front of, and it was on a night when she was about to bear her soul to the man that she was undoubtedly in love with. The other musicians joined her, and she nodded to Adrienne when the woman stuck her head through the slip in the drapery. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, and the birthday boy,” Adrienne’s voice boomed through the spacious club, “You are all entitled to quite the treat tonight. For only the second time on a live stage, let’s hear it for Stephanie Wright.”

The crowd erupted in applause and cheers of support and as the darkness gave way to a flood of lights, Stephanie took her guitar in her hands, strumming out the chords of the song that she’d created with Matthew’s words.

 

She couldn’t see his face, but from the reaction of the crowd, she had to guess that his face would match their excitement. Her breathing picked up and her heart pounded in her chest as she leaned into the microphone, “So, I have one more song to play for you all tonight. I’ve never been good with words unless I’m putting them down on paper and adding music to them, but I would like to say that this year has been a complete roller coaster. I’ve had some highs and some very ugly lows but I’ve had one person standing next to me through it all and I just want to say, Matthew...I wrote this for you…”

She took a deep breath, knowing that she needed to get her voice under control if she was going to get through it….

 

You never know when you're gonna meet someone

And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone

You're just walking around and suddenly

Everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone

You find out it's all been wrong

And all my scars don't seem to matter anymore

Cause they led me here to you

 

The last fifteen or so years that she had spent with Dustin were a fading memory. Here marriage was over and her life was on the path of new adventures. She knew that Matthew would be by her side through it all and she would be by his. She looked out into the audience and saw that he had moved through the crowd and was standing near the front of the stage. 

 

I know that it's gonna take some time

I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind

This might end up like it should

And I'm gonna say what I need to say

And hope to god that it don't scare you away

Don't wanna be misunderstood

But I'm starting to believe that this could be the start of something good

 

A smile started to form as she sang. She couldn’t help it. As she looked down into his hazel eyes, and he locked onto her, her heart burst with joy. Who knew that a year ago, as she was making that trek across the expanse of the U.S., that it would lead her on the journey that it did. That it would put her on the doorstep of the boy she had once loved.

 

Everyone knows life has its Ups and downs

One day you're on top of the world and one day you're the clown

Well I've been both enough to know

That you don't wanna get in the way when its working out

The way that it is right now

You see my heart i wear it on my sleeve

Cause I just can't hide it anymore

 

She could tell, from the way that he was looking at her, that he understood exactly what she was saying. Her smile grew. The man before her, the man that had held her hand through the messiness of the divorce. The man she had tried, unsuccessfully to push away. The man who had held firm and shown her just how much he cared for her. The boy she had once known had grown into the man she had only dreamed of. She loved him, she loved him so much and though she had yet to speak those three words out loud to him, she felt it. Her entire body felt it. 

 

I know that it's gonna take some time

I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind

This might end up like it should

And I'm gonna say what I need to say

And hope to god that it don't scare you away

Don't wanna be misunderstood

But I'm starting to believe that this could be the start

 

The future was a vast unknown, but she wasn’t scared of it. In fact, she was ready to embrace whatever it was that her future held. She knew that she wasn’t alone. For once, she had friends by her side, friends who were willing to fight along with her. She wasn’t sure where the chaos was going to take her, but she was ready to ride the wave and part of her craved the uncertainty of the future. 

 

Cause I don't know where it's going

There's a part of me that loves not knowing

Just don't let it end before we begin

You never know when you're gonna meet someone

And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone

 

The venue grew quiet moments before it erupted in a thunderous applause. Her grin was beginning to hurt her cheeks, but she didn’t care. She jumped down off the stage and allowed herself to be enveloped in Matthew’s arms. His head dipped down, their lips meeting. His arms tightened around her and for a brief moment, they were the only two people in the expansive space. She felt instantly cold when his lips pulled away from hers, but his arms stayed protectively in their place. 

“So, that song...interesting.”

“Just interesting,” Stephanie leaned in closer to his ear.

“I’m guessing that I’m going to have to be the one to say it….” Matthew pulled her closer.

“I love you Gubler,” The words spilled from her mouth and she felt an instant relief. She’d been holding onto them for so long, for no reason other than fear, that it felt like a weight lifted to have them out in the open.

“And you stole my thunder,” He giggled. His face grew serious and he leaned in even closer, “Thank you, for both songs. I know it wasn’t easy for you to do that, in front of everyone, and I just want you to know that the effort of it isn’t lost on me.” He pressed his lips to hers once more, “I love you Stephanie, with everything in me.”

 

I know that it’s gonna take some time

I've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind

This might end up like it should

And I'm gonna say what I need to say

And hope to god that it don't scare you away

Don't wanna be misunderstood

But I'm starting to believe

Oh I'm starting to believe that this could be the start of something good


End file.
